Whatever happened to kindness?
by SentimentalReasons
Summary: Shinji, having been suspended by his father after having a mental breakdown, is sent to live with the NERVs' finest commissioned officer, Misato Katsuragi. Misato hates Shinji, and resents him for being a troubled teenager. But she soon finds herself feeling sorry for him, and wanting to nurture him. And she wants them both to become close, more than anything else.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first attempt at writing an evangelion story. Please review and tell me what you think, and if I should continue. Thanks!**

**Also, thanks to shadowrunner22 for correcting my grammar. **

**My story is also based on my own personal experiences. So a lot of it's not made up. :)**

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I heard a knock coming from somewhere. The sound of the hard metal door being knocked on was very annoying.

The knock came again. Louder this time.

I hoped it wasn't who I thought it was, and I hoped it wasn't _my_ door they were knocking on, but I was disappointed when I heard the door open.

I instinctively got up. And saw who was standing in the doorway of my living quarters.

There stood my father. And commander of NERV.

I had expected him to show up sooner or later. After my incident I had earlier in the control room of the base, he wanted to get rid of me. I knew he did.

I was an embarrassment to him.

"Son, we need to talk." He said softly.

I didn't want to talk though. I knew he was probably going to send me off somewhere. Probably to reform school.

"Just go dad. I know what's going to happen."

He paused for a moment before saying,

"You're smarter than you seem Shinji. But after what happened today, you know I can't let you continue to pilot evangelions or anything else that requires discipline and stability. At least not until you grow up."

I heard it all before. I was weak, irresponsible, immature and a coward. I didn't need to hear it again.

My father always told me to grow up. But I don't know what that even means anymore.

To me, grown up is just aging and getting older. Not becoming more wise like he said it was.

"I've arranged for you to go and live with my best lieutenant, Misato Katsuragi. You'll learn a lot from her, and I'm sure she'll take good care of you." He said.

I couldn't believe it. And I also couldn't believe he'd send me to live with Katsuragi.

I never really met her, but I saw her around the base a couple times. I knew she lived around the newly built part of town outside the base, but I never really thought much of her.

I really didn't want to leave my quarters here at the base.

"Just kill me. It would be better that way." I told dad, as I looked down at my lap.

He shook his head in disappointment.

I guess he thought I was being difficult and immature again.

But for the record, I _meant_ what I said.

"You'll be leaving tomorrow at 6pm. I wish you the best of luck son."

With that, my father left. The door shutting behind him.

Ever since I lost my mother, father had always wanted to get me a female role model. I guess this was it.

He tried to get me involved with some family friends, and even my aunt, but I never really got close to any of them the same way I was close with my mother.

Even with my mother, we weren't that close either. She just wasn't as mean to me as my father was.

But I didn't need a role model, or female attention anyway. All I needed was Rei.

She was the only one I cared about, and I couldn't stand to be away from her for however long father wanted me to go.

Maybe I'd still get to come back to the base, but I wasn't sure.

I don't suppose it mattered anyway. Rei didn't like me the way I liked her.

I just wanted to die.


	2. Chapter 2

I walked up the steps of the apartment building and through the front door.

I looked up and down the halls of the small building before checking the note I had with the room number on it.

"57" it said.

Room number 57 it was. I thought it probably must have been the only inhabited room in the complex, because the whole place was dead silent.

I quickly found the right room, and prepaired to knock on the door.

I hesitated, but I decided that would just waste more time. So I knocked three times on the door. Dreading who might answer it.

I still couldn't believe farther would do this to me.

He wanted me to go see a psychitrist, but my refusal drove him to do this to me I guess.

I didn't want to go, but I had no choice.

From what I heard about Katsuragi, she was a drunk. But I had also heard that she was the smartest, most talented officer in service, who graduated at the top of her class.

It's mixed feedback that gets me confused. And I sure was confused.

But I was sure she was just bad-news like I had heard.

Back to right after I knocked on the door, I stood there for a second or two before the door opened.

And there stood a young lady, who I presumed was Katsuragi. She was a little taller than myself.

She had bluish purple hair and dark icy blue eyes. Her skin was pale, and she had on her red service uniform, unbuttoned all the way down, showing the black t-shirt she had underneath.

She was wearing the black skirt that was part of the uniform, and dark brown boots, completely untied with the tongues folded outward, which made them look sloppy.

I didn't want to admit it, but I though she was kind of attractive.

Although her appearance wasn't too much to bear, the thing that was very offending were the odors that emanated from her.

It smelled like she had been drinking. A lot.

She completely wreaked of alcohol.

And if that wasn't bad enough, her breath stunk horribly of cigarettes. The tobacco smell coming from her mouth was absolutely disgusting.

Not to mention the smell of alcohol that mixed with it.

Right then, I knew which side of the story about her to believe. She was definitely a damned mess.

"Oh goddammit, it's you." she said with an annoyed tone.

She wasn't too damn friendly.

Even though I didn't like her already, I instinctively stuck to my manners and politeness.

"You're Misato?" I asked her.

"Seriously? Who the hell else would I be." she retorted.

I didn't like her attitude, but I had no choice.

I had to do this, and I had to be polite. My kind nature unfortunately forces me to be kind no matter what.

I sighed and looked her in the eye. I hoped that would hint to her that I didn't want to do this, but I had to and I just wanted to get it over with.

She gave me an annoyed glare before saying,

"Well come on in. Not like I have a fucking choice anyway. Get all your stuff unpacked and come sit at the table. I just finished reheating some leftover Chinese."

What did she mean by 'she didn't have a choice'?

This was going to be a nightmare.

I put my bag on the floor next to the door, not knowing where she wanted me to put it.

I closed the front door as quietly as I could.

"Come on! Sit." she yelled over to me, pointing to the table in her small kitchen.

As I quickly obeyed her order and made my way over to the table, I noticed how... untidy the place was.

Dirty laundry piles were everywhere, and dirty socks of hers were strewn about the entire apartment.

There were also empty beer cans littering the place as well.

There was even a pair of what looked like her underwear thrown on the floor in the kitchen in a far corner.

She was _definitely_ a slob.

I sat down at the table in the chair closest to me.

She took a plate out of the microwave, walked over and set it at her side of the table.

Her breath smelled horribly of cigarettes when she walked past me.

I wanted to push her away from me, but I knew I couldn't.

Not only was her breath bad, but her teeth were too. Not crooked. But they looked a dark yellowish grey. Probably from all the cigarettes she had.

She came back from the drawers in the kitchen with utensils. She also had a bottle of vodka in her hand.

As she sat across from me, and stared at me, she also _smiled_ at me which was unexpected.

I smiled back on instinct.

I wondered where _my_ food was (I even wondered if she planned on giving me any). When she said she finished reheating leftover Chinese, she didn't say anything about sharing it.

I had a hunch she wasn't going to be offering me any food. But I still had a feeling that she may have meant that she would share it with me. So I asked her, regrettably.

"What about me?" I asked her.

It was a stupid thing to ask, and so was the way I asked it, but she understood me.

"What? Did you think I was gonna _give you_ some?" She said with a chuckle, and an evil grin.

She started eating her food.

I wasn't disappointed though. I completely expected that.

I wanted to tell her how I realized she didn't mention anything about sharing her food with me, and show her that I wasn't an idiot, but I decided that was a bad idea.

I sat back in my chair, and frowned a bit. Not that I was sad, I just wasn't in the mood for this.

Then, she suddenly got up from her chair.

_That_, I didn't expect.

She came forward, slamming both her hands against the table right in front of me, making her plate and fork jump an inch or two into the air and noisly crash back down.

She was leaning almost completely across the table to get into my face.

"Alright kid," she said, leaning across the table more, and getting into my face even further,

"Your father might've forced me to take you in, but that doesn't mean I have to like it."

I was confused. My dad was forcing her to let me live with her?

"I got rules in my apartment that everybody has to follow except for me." She continued with an angry glare.

She leaned closer to me. Her face was about an _inch_ away from mine. And her toxic mouth _wreaked_ of cigarettes and alcohol.

"Rule number one; no _shitty_ attitudes. Rule number two; this is _my_ apartment, _my_ rules, and what _I_ say goes. And rule number three; never, _ever_ go into _my_ room. _Ever_." She said with a very intimidating tone.

"You got that, _kid_?" She growled at me.

I nodded.

By now, I wasn't scared, but I was pretty shocked at how mean she was.

I was staring at her with whide eyes.

I never expected her to be nice, but I _definitely_ didn't expect her to be so harsh.

She shot me another glare as she sat back down. Then continued to eat.

We sat like that for a moment. I didn't know what to say to her.

I realized that my heart was racing, and I was sweating. _Literally_ sweating. I couldn't believe it.

All I did was fiddle around with my thumbs and stare down at my lap.

I looked up at her, but she gave me a death glare, which made me quickly break eye contact and look back down into my lap.

I really had no idea about what I was supposed to do. I figured she wanted me to keep quiet and behave, so that's what I tried to do.

Misato rested her head on her hand for a minute before looking up from her plate and asking,

"So is your dad punishing you by sending you here for the rest of the year?"

"Yes." I answered politely.

I didn't wanna make her mad or start anything. So I kept my talking to a minimum.

She was silent for another minute before asking me another question.

"So your name is... Shinji, right?" She asked.

I nodded.

(I felt like saying something like, "Yeah, who the hell else would I be?" Repeating what she had said to me earlier, and mimicking her attitude. But still, I knew that wouldn't be a good idea.)

She wasn't too friendly, and I didn't want it to get any worse.

She waited about five minutes before speaking again.

"Are you...like, upset about anything?" she asked rudely. Obviously trying to get me to open up to her.

A strange question though. I was upset about a lot of things. But I lied and said,

"No." as politely as I could.

She stared at me again for a moment before opening the vodka bottle and taking a gulp.

After another minute of silence, she snapped at me. Which startled me a little bit.

"Look, if you don't talk to me, _I_ can't help you." she said quietly but angrily.

I guess my dad wanted her to be my therapist in addition to being the surrogate mother I never had.

I just sat there in shock at her anger. She was scaring me right about now.

I opened my mouth to speak, but she interupted me.

"I know why your dad wants you to be here. He thinks that since I graduated from the academy with flying colors that I'll be the prefect 'female role model' for you, but believe me, I don't want to do this any more than you do."

"I don't want to be here either." I said as politely as possible. I didn't want to further upset her.

I just wanted t disappear.

"Alright. I know you're a screw up, so I don't wanna make things worse for you. I'm fucking tired, and I got a _fucking_ headache. I just wanna go to bed so I can get up tomorrow and enjoy my time off."

That was an earful, but I heard her loud and clear.

"What do you mean 'make things worse'?" I asked her. I was curious as to what she meant.

"Listen kid, I'm not the perfect goddam role model your dad wants for you, but since we're stuck together, than I guess we'll have to learn to deal with it."

"How do you mean?" I asked. My heart was racing.

"If your dad said I'd be a great person to look up to who would make you stop feeling like shit, he's _dead_ wrong." She answered.

"No, I mean about being stuck together." I corrected her.

She shot me a death glare before taking another gulp of vodka.

"You mean you don't fucking know? You dad told me to basically "take you under my wing" for the remainder of my time off duty. And he said if I refused, then he'd fucking put me on janitor duty for the rest of my _fucking_ life!"

Right now, I was sweating again and my heart was beating out of my chest.

_And_ I was surprised. I had no idea dad had threatened her like that.

I also sort of felt guilty because I realized that it was virtually all my fault, and I was ruining all the time she had off duty.

I was going to apologize to her, but she cut me off.

"Well you're depressed aren't you? Your dad said you fucked up everything when you were little, and now you're a nervous wreck who's still fucking up. Am I right?"

"I'm not depressed, I just haven't been doing so well lately," I lied.

"Alright, well I can't help you if you won't talk to me, and if you don't have a smile on your face by the time you leave here, you're dad's gonna be pissed and it's gonna be my career on the line."

I was hesitant, but I got some courage and tried getting back at her for snapping at me.

"But I _am_ talking to you!" I told her.

"You... you can't just expect me to open up completely to you on the first day. I barley got here!"

She gave me an angry look.

"Well then tell me what the fuck's wrong with you, so I can set you straight and make your dad happy. He might even let you go back to live at the base if you start acting normal again." She viciously answered.

That might just work. If I acted normal then my dad might just take me back earlier. But that wasn't the point. I didn't come here so we could both lie and say I was better so I could go home faster.

It also made me feel bad to know that yet _another_ person (Misato) would be added to the list of people who didn't understand me.

"Look," I started as nicely as I could,

"Can't you just like... not be so mean? I didn't do anything to you. Why are you being so harsh?"

"Didn't do anything?" She sarcastically retorted.

"Fucking ruining my time off? That's not fucking doing anything to me? Now I have to watch over a bratty little fuck-up like _you_ while I'm on leave, which I deserve to _fucking_ enjoy without someone like _you!_" She snapped.

I took a breath so I could speak up and tell her something, but she interrupted me again.

"You know what? Clear the table. I'm _fucking_ going to bed." She snapped at me again, as she quickly stood up, throwing her fork onto the table.

I suddenly felt guilty, and was going to attempt to apologize again, but she interrupted me once more.

"Do not _fucking_ bother me for anything unless you're _fucking_ dying. Understand?!" She growled, pointing her finger at me.

"Y...yes." I answered.

Then, she stormed off, presumably to her room.

"Hey, where the heck am I supposed to sleep?" I called to her, but she didn't answer.

Then, I heard and felt a door slam. Hard.

I sat there for a moment. Too scared to make a sound.

I didn't feel like she was going to hurt me, but she was pretty intimidating.

But I didn't know, she probably could hurt me. She was thin, but the way she stood was very intimidating, like she could lose it at any moment and punch me.

Regrettably, I respected her. So much as to obey her demands.

Just another one of my disadvantages from being polite.

I've always been that way. I could be mean and firm, but generally, I just couldn't disrespect anybody. Even if they were mean to me.

I stood up as quietly as I could, and cleared the table as she ordered.

I didn't know what to do really. The sink was full of dirty dishes.

Being me, I ended up washing every dish in the sink. I couldn't think of anything else to do.

It really bothered me that she decided to go to bed so suddenly after we met.

I had no idea where I was supposed to sleep or put my things.

I also needed a shower. A lot of pollen had gotten onto me during my walk here and I have bad allergies.

But I didn't dare use the shower or anything else like that without her permission.

I just sat on the sofa in her living room. I eventually fell asleep.

Strangely, I woke up a few times to see the clock show that it was midnight, but went back to sleep quickly.

But something bothered me as I laid there, drifting to sleep.

I was so bored, and fed up with my life. I hated it so much because I was always alone.

And nobody ever talked to me.

I had no life. And nobody cared if I lived or died.

Nobody cared to even say hello or look at me as I walked down the street or down the halls of the academy.

But I couldn't shake the feeling of excitement.

Even through Katsuragi was a drunk, a complete slob and a total jerk, my heart actually melted when I thought about her. It was a thrill to actually be acknowledged by someone.

Even if I was mistreated.

I couldn't believe it.

Things had gotten so bad, that I was actually _happy_ to have someone be a total jerk to me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the two reviews everyone. Please review some more and tell me what you think! And let me know if there are any spelling errors. Thanks!**

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I didn't know where I was when I awoke. I felt good though. I was laying on something soft, but softer than the sofa. And I had a blanket over me! How did that happen?

I also felt a pillow under my head at the same time.

But one thing got my attention. I smelled something sweet.

Honey? _No_..some type of sweetbread? Nope...French toast! That's what that smell was.

And eggs? I sensed a faint smell of eggs.

I got up, not knowing where I was.

It was dark. I couldn't see much except a door with light shinning through the cracks and a window to my right.

It was dark outside, and I could see the city lights in the distance.

I didn't know how I got here. I guessed that it was a spare room in the apartment, and Misato must've picked me up and taken me here while I was asleep.

At least I hoped that's what happened. I hoped I hadn't gotten up by myself and sleep walked to this room.

I didn't think I had, but nothing's impossible.

I didn't expect to see my bag on the floor when I turned to look. But it was there.

Slowly, I sat up, not knowing what I should do. I wasn't tired anymore and all the tension from the fighting Katsuragi and I did earlier was gone. I guess you could say I forgave her.

Slowly again, I got out of the bed I was in, and went over to my bag which was on the floor.

I opened it and tried to find something warm to wear like my robe and pajama pants because I was still in my jeans and t-shirt. My shoes had somehow vanished though.

I found my camouflage robe. I really liked it. It was one of the things my mom had got for me before she died.

She knew I liked camouflage.

I got my flannel pajama pants out finally, trying to work with what little light I had.

I took off my pollen covered pants and put on my pajama pants which had Darth Vader's face all over them. I liked star wars.

Goosebumps spread throughout my body. I didn't know what to do really. I felt really cold and my nose was getting stuffy. Probably from sleeping in clothes contaminated with the pollen I had picked up coming here.

Finally, after tying my robe snug against my body, I made my way to the door, tripping a few times on the way. I'm a klutz. I really am.

I had no idea if Katsuragi was still mad at me or not, so I took a chance and opened the door.

Walking out into a small hallway, I could see into the kitchen at the other end, and Misato was there, cooking something. The smell of the food was getting stronger. It made my mouth water.

Misato was dressed in a blue short sleeve shirt which sorta matched her hair, and she had on some jean shorts. Really short ones that exposed her legs. A lot. Any shorter and it would _literally_ have been indecent exposure.

It was pretty inappropriate if you ask me. At least while another person was in the apartment with her.

Anyway, I did enjoy the succulent smell of the ham she was making.

But she probably was just making it for herself I figured.

Nonetheless, I slowly walked out into the kitchen area. Which reminded me of the harsh treatment I received from her the previous evening.

I was very quiet, but Misato must have somehow heard me come into the kitchen.

"Well well, look who's back." She announced as she added some salt to the eggs she was cooking.

She kept her back to me, not turning to look.

"I was just wondering what you were doing." I told her. I didn't want to initiate another fight.

She didn't say anything to me for a few moments, but finally spoke after skillfully flipping one of the eggs ...without the spatula.

Yeah, she had skills.

"How do you like you eggs done?" She asked monotonously.

Really? Was she actually making food for me? I still didn't expect her to give me anything.

I assumed it was another one of her games, and she would probably say something along the lines of, "I just asked you how you liked your eggs, I didn't say anything about giving you any." Then she'd probably laugh.

But I answered her question anyway.

"Over easy." I said.

She didn't give any indication that she heard me, but I knew she did.

She continued to cook the food without even turning to look at me.

I saw the clock in the kitchen, it said 5:30.

Who gets up that early? And breakfast at this hour? Wow.

But overall, I guess it was okay since she apparently was making breakfast for me.

That is, if she wasn't pulling another stunt, and going to disappoint me by not giving me any. But I figured she had to let me eat sometime.

What bothered me the most, was that she was the best. As in, the best of the best.

She was the top pilot in the entire base, and she was highly ranked. I even heard people say that she deserved to be the base commander.

I didn't think so. I thought she deserved to be out on janitor duty like my dad apparently had threatened.

Suddenly, my train of thought was interrupted by Misato, who quickly went over to the fridge and took out a pitcher of orange juice.

She poured it into a large glass and added some ice.

She then turned on her heel and came up to me, and thrust the glass into my stomach. You know, the rude way to give something to someone.

By instinct, my hands came up and grabbed the glass. I was surprised that no juice flew out of the glass because she pushed it into me pretty hard.

"Here." She said with attitude in her voice.

I didn't know what to think of it. She actually gave me something.

Sure she was rude, but she actually gave me something.

Misato didn't look angry like she did yesterday. She looked tired. Exhausted even. I wondered why. She went to bed earlier than I did.

Anyway, I took the glass to the table and sat down. I hoped there wouldn't be a repeat of yesterday. I wasn't in the mood and I was starting to feel a little sick. My best estimate as to why I felt sick was that the pollen I had picked up yesterday had caused me to catch a cold or something

_Slam!_

I was startled by Misato who had literally slammed her fist down into the table.

And of course, my heart speeds up and I start to feel a sweat break out all over my neck and my face. I looked at her as she stood within inches of me, with her fist against the table and an angry look on her face.

"Stop that!" she snapped at me.

I had no idea what she meant. Stop what? I wasn't doing anything. Even when I _sat still _I upset her. What was wrong with her? I thought that she might be... unstable, so I looked into her eyes, trying to figure out if I could detect any insanity in her, but surprisingly I couldn't.

She actually looked pretty stable. Like _really_ stable. She looked more stable, confident, and determined than my father when he was giving out orders.

Except my father was full of himself. Katsuragi didn't have even the slightest hint of self indulgence in her eyes. But I saw something in her that I didn't understand. She looked... how do you say it …empty. On the inside. I didn't know. I couldn't tell just by looking at her. But I definitely saw something in her I couldn't comprehend.

She flashed her clenched teeth at me as a sign that she was angry. Her teeth looked very white and pearly today. I guess she was good at brushing her teeth.

I didn't know what to say. I decided to ask her what she was talking about.

"S...stop what?" I asked her.

"Stop staring off into space like you're doing!"

"Staring...off into space?"

"Every time I look at you, you're either fucking staring across the room into space, or staring right through me. It's _fucking_ weird!"

"I'm sorry." I told her as kindly as I could.

I looked down into my lap, so I wouldn't upset her.

I saw her bare feet turn around and walk back to the stove where I heard her finish cooking the food. I then heard her come back and put a plate on the table in front of me, along with some silverware.

"Eat." I heard her tell me.

I looked up at the table where I'd heard the plate being set down. I couldn't believe she had actually made me breakfast. On the plate in front of me, were two eggs over easy, just like I had said. There was also a slice of French toast, and two sausages sitting ontop of a few slices of ham to compensate for the lack of space on the plate.

Slowly, I looked up at Katsuragi. She raised an eyebrow at me, while hatefully frowning at me.

I figured I should do as I was told and eat. So I did.

And it was even more delicious than it smelled. Picking up my fork, I took a bite of egg first. The yolk poured out as soon as I cut into it, and I took a yolk drenched piece of egg and put it in my mouth. It was delicious. I also cut up a sausage and dipped it in the yolk of the half eaten egg I just had. Then I put the yolk covered piece sausage into my mouth. The sausage was even better.

I finished the half eaten egg, and started at the next one, and I also stuffed a few slices of ham into my mouth as well. The ham was the best. I also took a bite of the French toast. It was amazing. It really was. The flavor of the French toast just exploded in my mouth. Toasty, and cinnamonish with a hint of sweet syrup.

I didn't want to admit it, but it was the best breakfast I'd ever had.

After finishing what was left on my plate, I took a swig of the orange juice Katsuragi had crudely given to me. I guess I was too busy eating because when I looked over expecting to see her, she was gone.

I was surprised. I have superhuman-like hearing. I couldn't understand why I didn't hear her leave.

Not knowing what to do, I sat back in my chair. I decided after a moment, to get up and clear the table again. My genetically imprinted generous nature made me want to clean all the dishes like I had last time, so I did. I washed my plate, and all the things Katsuragi used to cook the food, like the pan and the spatula and a bowl she used along with a wisp.

She couldn't have gotten far. I really wanted to talk to her and confront her about why she was being such a jerk. But I couldn't find her. She wasn't even in her room, which I carefully peeked into in case she _was_ still there. She had either disappeared into thin air, or left the apartment.

I went with the logical explanation that she had left the apartment. But still, nothing was truly impossible. Some things are just likely to happen than others.

I really needed a bath or something. My face and hair felt sorta greasy.

Not knowing what to do next, I went back to her room. I thought I'd go through her stuff. I knew it wasn't right, but I figured she owed me that much. I also figured what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

But really, I didn't think of it as a anything personal though. I did stuff like that (going through people's stuff) and I just thought of it as curiosity. I didn't think of it as being wrong or mean.

As I opened the door to her room, I was overwhelmed by the smell of alcohol. I went into the room and saw a lamp on a desk in the dim light. I reached over and turned the lamp on and the room got brighter. Not by much, but at least it wasn't as dark as it was before.

Now this was worse than the rest of her apartment. Her entire room looked like a dump site for beer cans. Everywhere, I mean literally everywhere in her room was littered with empty beer cans.

To the far left in the room was her bed. Crudely made, and there was a pack of cigarettes sitting on the blankets. To the right of her bed was a filing cabinet, and next to the filing cabinet was her closet. The desk I was at was against the wall near the door. It had a few drawers and a lone telephone sitting on top of it ...accompanied with around 10 empty beer cans.

I decided to start my snooping in the drawers. The first drawer I opened had something inside that scared me. Sitting inside the top drawer was a gun. It scared me just a little, but my fear subsided after a second or two.

I had done weapons training before, and shot an old M1911, but it was nothing like this one.

The gun was black, and it looked like a newer model. It was a semi-automatic. To the right of gun was a magazine.

I slowly took the magazine in my hand and examined it. It was cold and sort of heavy for being so small. I realized it was loaded with 12 bullets. I wondered if the gun was loaded as well. I carefully picked up the gun by the handle, being sure to keep my finger away from the trigger. I didn't want any accidents. It was just as cold as the magazine, and much heavier, but I held it in my hand firmly and looked for a way to release the magazine, but I couldn't figure out how.

Giving up, I put the gun back in the exact position it was in before. I figured the gun was probably loaded. I also figured she knew how to use it. She had some pretty insane skills with the pan when she cooked, so I figured she was probably even better with a gun.

I felt around the back of the drawer to see if there was anything else inside. I surprisingly felt something metal. I pulled out another magazine, but this one was a 15 round one. I wondered what she had all of this in her apartment for. Probably for more than just self-defense.

As I put the magazine back into the far corner of the drawer where I had found it, I picked up the gun again.

I was going to see if I could find anything engraved on it like the NERV emblem, but as soon as I though that, my index finger pushed something down, and I could feel a spring and a light 'click', and before I knew it, the magazine inside the gun had fallen right out and hit the floor.

I heard and saw two bullets come flying out of the top of the magazine (where it feeds into the gun) and disperse onto the floor.

Quickly, I picked up one of the bullets and tried to put it back into the magazine. But it didn't fit.

Oh crap.

How much had guns changed since I last shot one? I remembered you loaded bullets into a magazine from the top. But they just wouldn't fit when I tried.

I panicked, knowing that I'd be screwed if Katsuragi found bullets taken out of the magazine. She'd know it was me. There wasn't anybody else who could've done it.

Arggghh. . . . .come on! Get _in there_!

After messing with it for what seemed like 20 minutes, I was _finally_ able to get one bullet back into the magazine. Having learned how to do this, I quickly collected the other bullet from the floor, and loaded it back into the magazine.

After that, I slapped the magazine firmly back into the gun to make sure it stayed in there.

Then I put the gun back exactly into its former position.

I was sweating again, but I knew I was in the clear now. Just no more messing around with that gun.

Slowly, but steadily, I went over to her bed, not wanting to be near the gun anymore.

I looked around on her small nightstand. She just had a lot of paperwork form the base, and some hair care products accompanied by paperclips, rubber bands, a set of markers and some pens. She of course, had another empty beer can sitting there too. What was also interesting, was that there were some empty pill bottles on the nightstand as well. Antidepressants by the looks of them. I also looked around inside her closet, and found some old-looking clothes of hers along with a spare uniform and several sets of boots.

Besides all that and the gun, there wasn't really anything else interesting in her room.

One thing _did_ catch my eye though. She had a picture on her wall next to the door. It was a picture of what looked like her when she was younger, and she was at a park with some guy who had his arm around her. I couldn't tell if it was friendly or if he was her boyfriend or something.

After looking at the picture for a moment, I turned off the lamp and left her room. I made sure to leave the door cracked just a bit because that's how she left it.

I didn't really feel guilty for snooping around in her room. I knew it wasn't right but I honestly didn't do it to be mean our anything. It was mostly out of curiosity.

Anyway, I was glad I had gotten out when I did because I heard the front door opening as soon as I stepped out. I would've been dead if she found me snooping in her room.

I wanted to thank her for breakfast, because it might set things straight with us, but as soon as I thought of that, she brushed past me, not even bothering to acknowledge my presence. I wasn't expecting that, and I got startled _again_ when her arm brushed against mine. She went into her room and closed the door.

_Click_.

I didn't know what to think of that. I was glad I had taken a few steps away from her door because if I was any closer, it would've been obvious that I had just come out of her room. I was glad I got out of there in time.

Not having any idea what to do, I went back to the room I had been in earlier. I guess that was my room now.

It was about 6:00 now, and it was still dark outside.

I sat back onto the bed I had been in. The darkness was thick, but the window let some light in.

Suddenly, I heard someone talking, I couldn't make out what they were saying. It sounded like it was coming from the next room. Feeling tired, I groggily got up and went over to the wall. Now I could hear more clearly. It was Katsuragi, and she was on the phone. I guess my snooping wasn't done yet.

I listened carefully,

"So what time are we going?. . . . . . . . . . . .he doesn't have any. . . . . . . . . .uuh, I don't _think_ he does . . . . . yeah?. . . . . . . . . . . . .well he probably hates me now, that's for sure. . . . . . .no. . . . . . . .no because I yelled at him when I. . . . . . . . . . .yeah. . . . . . .I don't know. . . . . . . . .he's probably gonna fuckin hate me for the rest of his life now. . . . . .no, all I'm saying, is that I already fucked it up, so now it's going to be either an emotional roller coaster for _me_, or he's just gonna go back to the same way he was when he arrived, and I'm gonna fuckin lose my job. . . . . . . .no. . . . . .I don't think you have to do something like that. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . dammit, why can't you just. . . . . . . . .fine. . . . . . . . . alright. . . . . . .bye."

I heard her hang up the phone. Then, everything was silent.

I didn't know what to do now. I was feeling sick because my nose felt sore and tender when I took a breath. I thought I'd go back to sleep. Sleeping the day away was better than walking around the empty apartment while Katsuragi was locked in her room. I laid back down, and closed my eyes. I soon fell asleep in the room I assumed was mine now.

* * *

I awoke to rain tapping at the window. And strong bursts of wind made the complex creak as well. It was a pretty small place. Right on the outskirts of the city. The large wooded areas were lined with old buildings from when before the meteor hit. But the complex was fairly new. And it was pretty dead around this part. It wasn't even a _part_ of town I don't think.

Anyway, I peeked out from under the blankets at the door, to see if there was any light coming through the cracks. But there wasn't. I glanced over at the small digital clock next to the bed. It was midnight now. I was glad. I really didn't want to spend the day alone, with Katsuragi locked in her room. I hoped things would get better. She couldn't ignore me forever. We had to get along _sometime_.

I recalled the conversation she had on the phone. About how she thought I would hate her for the rest of my life. I had to disagree with her on that.

Even thought she was a jerk, I still couldn't hate her for life. My feelings toward her would eventually mellow out, and I'd accept her. Even if she was just a jerk to me.

I jumped when I heard a loud crack of thunder, followed by some lightning. But something else happened that scared me even more.

The door knob suddenly turned. I could hear it. I didn't want to look out from under my blankets to see, but I did. The door knob turned even more. I couldn't hear much because of the loud wind blowing against the complex. The rain didn't help either.

But then, I heard the knob turn all the way and the door opened just a crack. I quickly hid my head under the covers. I certainly didn't wanna look now. I was afraid of what I might see.

I heard what sounded like boots quietly walking into the room. I heard the door open even more as the sound of the boots came further into the room.

Closer. . . . . .closer. . . . . . . . .closer. The boots stopped halfway to my bed. I was terrified now, I had no idea who was in the room with me. A burglar? A criminal of some sort? A serial killer? The possibilities flooded my mind.

I took a chance, and looked out of the smallest opening I could create with the covers.

I saw a figure, dark and tall. I was so terrified, I didn't know what to do. I thought if they were going to attack me, I had to surprise them and run as fast as I could out of the room. Katsuragi might even have been dead by now, and the intruder could be coming for me next! I would have to somehow get to the gun in Katsuragi's room. That would be my only hope of stopping whoever this intruder was.

But just then, before I could look away, a flash of lightning illuminated the room, and I was genuinely surprised at what it revealed about the intruder.

Katsuragi's face was the first thing I saw. Then her red uniform. The lightning flash wasn't long enough for me to make out any other features, though I was relieved to see it was her. But what was she doing in my room? It _was_ her apartment, but I was sleeping, and I didn't know why she'd be in here while I was sleeping.

All the fear I had quickly subsided, only to be replaced by an unsure feeling. Why was she here?

Suddenly, the footsteps of her boots came closer to the bed. She was right next to me now, I could feel it. I stayed perfectly still, encased in the covers.

I was sweating again, and my heart started to pound, which made my headache worse.

Then, I felt her pull the covers off of me. _No_! What was she doing? I felt the cold air from the room hit my face. I stayed as still as I could, laying down on my side against the bed.

My heart sped up.

I pretended to be asleep more than I had ever pretended before.

I felt her hand come down and touch my right cheek. What was she doing? I squinted my eyes a little bit and saw her purpleish hair hanging down. She was leaning her head down, closer towards mine. _What the hell was she doing_?

I felt her breath against my eyelid before I felt something cool and wet press up against my temple. Was she _kissing me?! _

Adrenaline shot through my chest and all around my body.

Her lips made a quiet sucking sound as they left my skin. Then, she took my right hand in hers. She squeezed my hand pretty firmly, and massaged my knuckles a little bit with her thumb.

Now, you can probably guess that I am at a loss for words. And I was. God, was she a _pedophile_? Why did she kiss me and why is _her_ hand now holding _my_ hand?

Then, she let go of my hand and leaned in closer to me.

"I'm so sorry Shinji." She softly whispered into my ear.

Sorry? For what? Kissing me? Holding my hand? Coming into the room where I was sleeping in the middle of the night? Or sorry for being a jerk? I had no idea what to think.

Sure, Katsuragi was an attractive woman, and her hair smelled very pleasant when she kissed me, but why did she do what she just did?

As quickly as she kissed me, she put the covers back over me and left. I heard her boots as she left the room and closed the door.

What the hell just happened to me?


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for the reviews. Please give me more insight as to how the story should continue. Your thoughts count!**

* * *

My _God_. What just happened to me?

I wasn't sure if I was awake or asleep. I was somewhere in between I think. I was feeling sort of strange. _No_. It couldn't be.

Was I feeling empty?

My chest was feeling empty, and my heart was aching. I actually wanted her to come back.

The way she touched my face, the way her lips pressed against my skin.

I just couldn't believe it. I wanted her to come back.

I wanted her. . . . t. . . . . . . to. . . come back. . . . . .

* * *

What? I was still in bed right? Why is everything so bright?

I opened my eyes and took in a powerful beam of sun. It really hurt my eyes.

Not knowing what I should do next, I just decided to stay in the position I was in.

I looked up at the ceiling and recalled what Katsuragi had done to me last night. I didn't want to admit it, but I secretly enjoyed what she had done. Kind of. But I didn't like her. At least I didn't think I did. She was pretty, but she was mean, a jerk, and a slob. I wasn't into any of that.

Not to mention she was 30. I'm only 17. That makes it even more wrong.

But still, I didn't want to stay like this forever. Katsuragi and I had to eventually cope, and accept each other. I didn't expect it to work out that way, but I figured we had to get along at some point.

I didn't wanna get up, but I needed a bath. I also needed to do something. My muscles needed to be used.

I was feeling weak, and my limbs felt heavy.

Nonetheless, I got up, and ran my hand across my face. I couldn't find my glasses, so it was hard to see at a distance.

The sunbeams coming through the window revealed dust particles floating through the air. I didn't like that. All that dust must have done something to make my allergies worse.

Getting up from the bed, I saw what my room looked like for the first time(every other time it had been too dark). It looked just like Katsuragi's room, but it was empty. A small closet to my left, the window to my right, and the door and another larger closet directly in front of me. My bag was also on the floor next to the bed. I also saw my shoes placed next to the bed.

As I made my way to the door, I thought about what I was going to do. Katsuragi didn't know I was awake when she kissed me (at least I hoped she didn't), so I didn't know how she would treat me today. Maybe she really was sorry like she said.

I made my way to the door, and opened it slowly. I didn't realize I was in my robe still. It was getting loose, so I tied it against me firmly. As I did this, the door to my right suddenly opened, and there stood Katsuragi.

Her hair was the way she had it when she went to the base for work. And she had her red service uniform on, and her red beret in her left hand. It looked like she was going somewhere.

She stood in her doorway, and put her hand on the frame, leaning against it.

"You smell like the garbage can in my kitchen." she remarked.

I looked into her eyes as she looked back into mine. She didn't look as combative as she had before. But she still looked a little pissed.

"Well?" She asked me.

I didn't know what to say.

"Here," she said, shoving a folded towel into my stomach, much like she did with the glass of orange juice yesterday. I didn't even see the towel. Either she was good at hiding things, or my eyesight was getting worse.

"Get yourself cleaned up. Just don't use up all my shampoo." she told me.

I nodded, not knowing what else to do.

Then, she shoved past me. Literally. She shoved me with her arm pretty hard as she walked past me and down the small hall. Though it didn't make me fall back or anything, it was rude.

I heard her open and shut the front door. I guess she left.

Well, I guess it was time for a shower.

* * *

The hot water did a lot for me. It was a relief to finally cleanse my hair of all the grease it had accumulated over the past few days. I was also glad I could finally wash off any remnants of pollen that might have still been clinging to my body.

I brushed my teeth with my toothbrush I brought with me in my bag.

I also used some of Katsuragi's shampoo, but I squeezed out only a drop the size of a dime. I didn't want her to get mad if I used up her shampoo like she told me not to. She probably wouldn't have been able to tell I had used any.

After I got done showering, I got out and put the towel around myself.

I needed a towel for my hair because it took a lot to dry it, but this was all I had. I looked at my hair in the fogged up mirror over the sink. My hair had used to be blonde, but it turned to a dark ash-brown when I hit 13.

Though I was glad my hair had changed, it made me feel like I wasn't me anymore.

I'm German, unlike the people I work alongside with. That explains how my hair used to be blonde.

Although being German was something my friend Asuka and I had in common. But she wasn't _really_ German, she was _part_ German, but not quite German like me. Her parents were from the US. I didn't know what other race she was, but I don't suppose it really mattered anyway.

My father, on the other hand had a rare case. He was adopted by some Japanese people when he was brought here from the US. He took their last name though when he was adopted (hence my Japanese last name). His real parents were German, but they gave him up for adoption so they could serve in the military and assist NERV. My family has a history with NERV.

I _could_ tell you the story about my mother who was German as well, and how my parents met while serving in NERV, but that might make me depressed.

Anyway, my father thought it would be nice to give me a Japanese name since his family and him had been here for so long, though I didn't like it too much.

I had wanted to move to Germany when I was older, or perhaps even the US or something, but I didn't see that happening anytime soon.

But it didn't matter anyway, I had grown attached to Tokyo-3, and my life with NERV and everybody I had met, like Rei, and all the others.

Anyway, I left the bathroom and went back to my room and got dressed. I put on my usual clothes. My white shirt, and black pants. And my white sneakers which I really liked.

After getting dressed, I walked back out into the living room area expecting to see Katsuragi, but she was still gone. I wondered where she had gone. It was going to be 8:30 soon, and she didn't have to work. My best guess was that she went somewhere on her own. Shopping? Maybe. Or perhaps she went to get her hair done. I didn't have any idea. I had never thought of it before, but she _did_ have a life outside of NERVE. Sure she spent most of her time at the base, but I wondered if she had any friends outside of NERVE. She must. She was on leave anyway. She must've had _some_ friends.

I went back to my room. I wanted to go somewhere, but I didn't know if she'd take too kindly to that. I sat around for about a half hour before she finally returned.

* * *

I heard the front door open. And I heard Katsuragi carrying what sounded like plastic bags. I heard her grunt in frustration a few times, so I figured I'd go out and help her. Surely she couldn't get mad at me for helping her.

Stepping out of my room, I saw her in the kitchen, loading her fridge with groceries. So she had gone shopping. I guess that was a good thing.

I went into the kitchen, but Katsuragi somehow was able to sense that I was there without even looking.

"What the hell do you want?" She monotonously said without looking at me.

How did she do that? I hadn't made a sound when I came into the kitchen.

"I just wanted to see if you needed any help." I answered. Again, trying to be as polite as possible.

"I'm fine. I don't need any help." She responded. She sounded exhausted.

From the looks of it, she had gotten a lot of beer. She had gotten a few bags of chips which I saw in the plastic bags on the table, but other than the chips, she just got beer.

I wasn't surprised though. I knew she was a heavy drinker.

This was it. I wanted to set things straight with her. I really did. I knew we had to learn to get along eventually. So I tried to make things right. I just hoped it would work.

"Listen, Misato..." I started. She turned to look at me finally.

"I know things haven't gone too well since I got here, and I know you don't really like me, but I really want to apologize for everything. I had no idea my dad was forcing you to let me stay with you. I really didn't wanna do it, and if I could, I'd leave. I really would. I would've stayed back at the base where I want to be. I'm sorry Misato."

She shot me an annoyed glare before walking over to the sink. Really? She didn't have any understanding for anyone, did she? She was just going to ignore me like that? I tried again.

"Really, Misato. I really am sorry. I wish I could make it up to you. I know I'm a screw up, I just didn't know it'd land me here. I like you, and I think you're really cool. I. . . . . maybe you're not the nicest person in the world, but I think you're. . . . .really cool."

I didn't know if that was my generous nature coming out, or if I really felt that way. I really wanted her to feel like I favored her. I wanted to make things right between us.

Mind you, I had that kiss she gave me in the middle of the night in mind when I said all that.

She raised her eyebrow, like she wanted to hear more.

"I think we could get along. I just want to be friends. You're the best officer in the entire division of NERV. I know tons of people who would be honored just to shake your hand. I'm lucky to actually have been sent to live with you. I really just don't want you to hate me. I don't. . . . . . . . . . . . .want you to hate me. I know this isn't the ideal way to make friends, but I really wanna get along with you cause you're. . . . . .a really cool person, Misato. I just don't want you to be another one on the list of people who hate me."

She looked at me. Like she was trying to see if I was lying. And maybe I was. I didn't know. All I knew was that I didn't want there to be anymore hate between us.

Katsuragi shut the fridge. Then she looked down at her boots. I hoped she was considering being my friend. Or at least being nice to me.

She let out a soft sigh before speaking.

"You know Shinji. . . . .I thought you were just a bratty little shit who would mooch off of me, and. . . . well you're not." She said, sounding uneasy.

Okay. . .? This was going somewhere.

"But Shinji, I gotta say. . . .I don't think you're. . . . I . . . I don't hate you, Shinji. I_ never did._"

She _didn't_ hate me? Then why was she such a _jerk_?

I wanted to confront her about that.

"Well if you _don't_ hate me, then why were you so _mean_ to me when I got here?"

She looked away for a moment, like she didn't know what to say. Then, she snapped. Not as bad as she had before, but she snapped.

"Hey, I got problems _okay_? I'm not fucking _perfect_."

She scared me. But I didn't let that get me down.

"Well _Misato_, you're not the only one who's got problems. I've had nothing _but_ problems my _whole life._"

She looked like she was going to snap again at any moment, so I tried to wrap things up.

"And you know what Misato, _I_ don't hate you. And if you say you _don't hate_ me, then I see no reason why we shouldn't be friends."

She looked at me, not with anger, but she looked agitated. I knew the perfect way to end this. I walked up to her and got in her face.

"Come on. There's no reason we shouldn't be friends." I told her.

She looked down and to her right with an annoyed look. I really wanted to have a moment with her. So I opened my arms, stepped in and hugged her, putting my arms around her upper body, not waiting for her to resist if she was going to.

A hug. It was the perfect way to seal the deal. I knew it was.

I felt her recoil, and draw herself in as I hugged her. I guess she hadn't expected it. I did however, kind of wonder if this was going to earn me a slap. I also thought she might nail me right in my face if she was angry enough.

I stood there for a second, hugging her. Her arms were at her sides. I wondered if she was going to hug me back. She _needed_ to hug me back so then I'd know we were friends.

Then suddenly, I felt something that let me know we _were_ going to be friends now.

I felt her arms wrap around me, and pull me closer to her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you all for the 10 reviews. Please let me know what else I should include or how you think the next chapter should go. And let me know of any spelling errors. I read this chapter several times but they just keep getting through. Thanks again!**

* * *

I held back a laugh. Why did I want to laugh? That was strange. Maybe I was excited?

Misato and I were standing in the kitchen. She was giving me an emotionless stare. Maybe she felt strange because of the hug we had shared just moments ago.

"Shinji," Misato started.

"I don't know if we can be friends."

Oh crap. Was she going to reject me now?

"Shinji, I want to say I'm sorry. I shouldn't have... been such a jerk..."

"It's okay Misato." I instinctively replied.

"I understand you."

"Doubt it." She said dryly.

I took a step back from her.

She looked like she had just learned that her family was killed in an accident. Unsure, slightly angry, and almost like she wanted to cry. But no tears ever came from her eyes.

"Hey." She said, stepping closer to me. I was getting nervous. I didn't know where the relationship we had was going to go from here. Was she done being mad at me?

"Let's get some dinner tonight. My treat."

"Oh, uuh... that'd be great Misato, but you don't have to."

"I do. I owe you." She answered, crossing her arms and leaning against the fridge.

I couldn't help but crack a smile. Misato returned the favor, and smiled back.

Not only was I happy, but I was relieved that I had made a friend. Something that I didn't do often.

Now, it was only a matter of time before we became close I hoped.

I really looked forward to dinner with her.

* * *

I wondered if my dad was going to call. He never really cared about me anyway so I guess it didn't matter. He'd probably just say I needed to grow up and learn from Misato.

Well, it had been a good day. Misato had spent some time drinking in the kitchen while I went to the laundromat a few floors down to get all the laundry washed. Misato insisted that I only do my own laundry, but I insisted that I do hers too. After arguing a bit, we agreed that I'd do her laundry too. It was no skin off my nose.

The laundry took longer to dry than it did to wash. I stood there in the laundromat for a while as the clothes dried. It was pretty dead. The only person I saw walking around was some guy in a suit, but he looked like he was lost or in the wrong building.

The laundromat was a sad place. Concrete floors and walls with washers and dryers in even rows. But it was a small windowless place. It reminded me of the base somewhat.

It was around 4:45 pm when I got back from doing the laundry, I was tired. The trip upstairs was hard because I had to lug two huge bags of laundry with me.

Misato was in the kitchen still. She was drinking like she had been doing all day, and looked like she was bored.

"Hey Shinji, your dad called." Misato told me when I walked in the door.

"Oh, should I call him back?" I asked her.

"No. He was glad to hear you were doing something when I told him you were doing the laundry."

I gave her a half smile. She went back to drinking her beer.

Misato wasn't really _nicer_, but she _certainly_ wasn't as harsh as she had been. I guess she was done being mean. Or at least I hoped so.

I also wondered _when_ dinner was going to be. She didn't say though.

After I put the laundry away, I went back to the room I still assumed was mine. She never really told me it was my room but since she apparently had picked me up and put me there during the night, I assumed it was mine.

Wait, if she came into my room during the night and kissed me, what had she done to me if she was able to carry me to my room without me waking up? She could've easily done something to me then. I wanted to ask her about that.

I stepped back out into the kitchen, and approached Misato.

"Misato, I was just wondering. . . . .the first night when I slept on the couch, you took me to that room didn't you? I mean, I hadn't sleep walked there had I?"

She gave me a confused look.

"I. . .took you there. . . . I woke you up and told you to sleep in that room instead of the couch."

Had she? I had absolutely no recollection of that. But it was common for me to forget things. Especially if it was done while I was half asleep.

"Oh, sorry. I don't remember any of that."

Misato went back to drinking her beer.

I felt like I wanted to cry suddenly. I felt the same way after Misato and I shared a hug in the kitchen earlier. I really had a lot on my mind.

Still, even after what we did, I couldn't figure her out. I swear, I could see that she had good in her, but she wasn't showing it. Or acting on it rather.

But what else could I expect form a sloppy drunk like her?

But I knew there was good in her, just like with Rei.

The truth about Rei, was I had been worried about her because last I heard she had a boyfriend or something like that, but I guess it really didn't matter, cause before she had gotten a boyfriend, she was a "slut". I didn't wanna believe it, but after the way I saw some of the guys holding her in the class photos from the academy, I figured it was true, unfortunately(class photos, as in photos of life at the academy. They had a section of all the "cutest couples" and "most athletic/best dressed students" and things like that).

Even though I had only one class with Rei and we never really talked, I knew a lot about her. She and her class had a field trip to some summer camp out in the woods, and they took group photos and like I said, some of the guys she was with in the photos all were either holding her around the waist, or touching her somehow.

The one that bothered me the most was a photo of Rei and some taller guy at a dock, and Rei was in a bikini, and the guy had his shirt off and was putting his arm around her waist. But I guess it didn't matter anyway like I said. Rei and I never spoke, and she was probably a "slut" before we even met, so therefore she probably wouldn't like a loser like me and probably never will.

I didn't wanna believe it, but I had to. Rei is probably out with some guy as I speak. They're probably making out, or they're in bed together while her parents aren't home. Or they might be drinking or smoking something together somewhere. It was sickening to think about it, but that's probably what was happening. All the instructors at the academy and all the officers Rei and I had worked with wouldn't approve of that sort of thing, but if Rei was having sex with some guy, neither he nor she would say anything.

Even if the whole academy knew, nobody would care but me.

Besides, it was probably some guy who was a jerk, way worse than Misato, and he probably would graduate with flying colors and everybody would think he was great and he'd have Rei all to himself afterwards. And Rei would just be his sex toy for the rest of her life, getting fake love and attention from him until he got bored of her or found someone else.

Suddenly, I felt my head get hot. And tears were about to let loose.

Dammit!

Misato was right in front of me, but I couldn't stop it. The tears came out slowly, like a little trickle.

Then, they gushed from my eyes. The tears came pumping out of my eyes in sync with the rhythm of my heart. My face felt like it was swelling. I tried to shut my eyes, but I quickly gave up, knowing I couldn't stop the tears.

Misato hadn't noticed me yet. If I turned around now, and went back to my room or the bathroom, I could wipe the tears away or wait it out until my tear reserves ran dry.

But just then, Misato turned her head to look at me. I quickly turned on my heel, trying to hide my teary eyes, but I saw her gaze catch a glimpse of my face before I could turn around.

I started for my room, struggling to see through my blurred vison and trying to act like I didn't notice she had seen my tear-filled eyes, but I heard her scoot her chair back and come towards me.

I felt her hand grab me by my right shoulder, and swivel me around. Misato was looking down at me. She looked concerned. I didn't want her sympathy, but she gave it to me anyway.

"Shinji, what's wrong?" She asked me. There was a hint of worry in her voice.

I didn't want her to see me like this. So I tried my best to get away.

"I'm fine Misato." I said through my tears. I knew I definitley didn't sound fine. I probably sounded like an idiot, saying I was fine.

She put her hand on my cheek, which reminded me of what she did to me that one night.

Misato made me look at her.

"Shinji, tell me what's wrong." She said firmly.

More tears came. I didn't wanna tell her about Rei, but it sounded like it might be a chance to get it out. It might even make me feel better. But I still didn't wanna tell her. The fear of embarrassment was coming on.

I stood with her there for a moment, not knowing what to say. I felt like hugging her, but one hug(like the one we just shared earlier) was enough for now.

Regrettably, I dropped to my knees. Misato got down on her knees as well, moving herself closer to me. She brushed my hair back to reveal my watery eyes.

"Misato, I'm fine really." I told her, sounding even more like an idiot.

"No, you're not." She said, getting back up and taking me by the wrists. She pulled me to my feet. She was _very_ strong.

Misato led me over to her sofa, and sat me down. She sat next to me and wiped my tears away with the sleeve of her red uniform.

"Tell me what's wrong Shinji." She said, but softer this time.

I really didn't wanna spill the beans about Rei, but my body did. And so did my voice.

"It's Rei." I told her through my sobbing.

"It's Rei, and I can't get over it."

"What about Rei?" Misato asked. Her voice was sounding kinder.

"_I love her_." I blurted out.

Misato put her arm around me.

"And she doesn't love you I assume?" She asked.

"No... I don't know. I just really like her and she has no clue I do. Now I think she has a boyfriend and I can't stand to know that."

"Oh Shinji. People have boyfriends and girlfriends, it's nothing to get worked up about."

"But it is for me, she's probably in bed with some guy right now!" I answered.

Misato tried to make me look at her, but I resisted her. I pushed her hand away from my face.

"Shinji... come on, lets go get dinner like I promised. It'll make you feel better."

Dinner did sound good. But I wanted to just go to bed and pull the covers over me and sleep away the sadness like I had always done. I just wanted to die even. Life wasn't worth living if I couldn't have Rei.

"_Shinji_." Misato said.

"Let's go. The sooner we go, the sooner you'll feel better."

"Can I have a glass of water first?" I asked.

"Of course."

I got up and went over to the cabinets in the kitchen and took out a glass and filled it up with the sink. I was used to having filtered water from a dispenser, but this would have to do.

I drank the cold water, and it made me feel better. Just a little bit. It took my mind off of Rei and what she might be doing right now. I didn't know what she was doing though. I didn't want to make premature assumptions but I couldn't help but think of what Rei was doing. She could've been doing anything right now.

* * *

Misato and I walked a few floors down and took an elevator to the parking garage. She held my arm the whole way. Not like she was leading me by the arm. But like she was guiding me.

We reached the parking garage level and the doors opened. Misato led me out of the elevator and down the first aisle of cars. The parking garage was dead silent. Like everything else around the complex.

Misato let go of my arm as she reached into her pocket and pulled out her keys. She then went over to her car at the end of the aisle right next to the concrete wall. It was a nice looking car. I couldn't tell what kind it was. Only that it was dark blue and really nice.

Misato unlocked the doors and led me over to the passenger side. She opened the door for me and I got in.

I felt like I was going to cry as I sat in her car. But then the driver's side door opened and she got in. That distracted me from thinking of Rei and suppressed my urge to cry.

She started the car, and turned to look at me.

"Shinji. You'll feel better soon. I promise." she told me with a kind smile.

I didn't believe her, but I had a feeling that she wasn't lying. She was going to do something to make me feel better. I knew she was.

Misato put the car in reverse and backed out of her parking space. Then she shifted into drive and sped down the aisle, skillfully turning around the corners of the garage.

I looked out the window as we exited the parking garage. I had no idea where we were going, but Misato sure did.

We drove a mile or two out towards Tokyo-3, we had to drive down a small two-lane highway that ran through the wooded area. It kind of reminded me of Germany, with all the pine trees and evergreens.

It was _dark_ at about this time. The forest area looked kind of creepy as we drove. Misato looked at me a few times and smiled. She made me feel so much better.

When we finally reached the city limits of Tokyo-3, and all the headlights from the other cars blinded me. Not to mention the lights from all the buildings and signs.

Misato pulled into a back road that led to a small suburban area. We passed a few houses and apartments before coming to a small strip mall surrounded by pine trees. Then. Misato slowed down near a strip mall on our right. The whole place looked strangely like the US. It reminded me of a time I went to see Asuka when her mother was in the hospital in Oklahoma. The place was lovely, and there were the same looking pine trees everywhere. It all reminded me very much of Germany.

I had actually lived in Germany with my grandfather until I was 6, if I hadn't mentioned.

But the place was quite beautiful. As opposed to the usually barren landscape of Japan.

There were a few restaurants at the strip mall. But Misato looked confused.

"Wait wait... goddammit, this isn't the place." She said under her breath.

Misato continued down the road until we came to a place much closer to the city. Another strip mall. Much more different looking than the other one.

It had a few restaurants as well, and a large pharmacy. Misato pulled in and parked in front of a diner. The place was dead except for the busy street a block away. Why was everywhere I went always dead?

Seriously, this was getting ridiculous.

Anyway, Misato shut the car off and got out. She came over to my side and opened the door for me. I didn't think she had to do that. But she came off as very kind when she did.

I couldn't tell what the name of the place was. I had a hard time seeing without my glasses. Much less trying to read Japanese, which I had an even harder time with.

Misato and I went inside, and I was surprised to see several tables full of people.

Misato took a seat at a booth and I did the same. I sat across from her and looked at her with my sad eyes. I knew my eyes were sad. They always were.

Misato looked at me like she wanted to give me a hug. I didn't know what to say to her really.

A waitress came and brought us some water, and two menus. Misato and I then looked over them.

"Get anything you want Shinji." She told me.

I smiled at her before saying,

"I'm really not that hungry. Could I maybe just get a milkshake?"

"Well, sure... but don't you want something to eat?"

"I guess, but not too much. I get full real easy."

She smirked at me before looking back down at her menu.

I decided I'd just get a strawberry milkshake and a slice of apple pie. I was surprised to see that this stuff was popular in Japan. I remembered that in Germany, they had milkshakes and a much wider variety of pastries. My favorite was the German chocolate cake with pecans. But, that was a long time ago.

Anyway, the waitress came and took our order, and our menus. I didn't quite hear what Misato ordered. I was too busy looking outside at the city towering over the tiny strip mall.

Misato interlaced her fingers and rested her chin on top of them as she looked at me. She reminded me of someone, but I couldn't figure out who.

"Shinji." She started. I looked up at her.

"I'm sorry for being such a jerk to you."

"Really Misato, it's okay." I automatically answered.

"No, it's not." She told me.

"I really wanna make it up to you."

"If anything, I should be trying to make it up to _you_." I answered.

She shook her head.

We stared at each other for a few minutes. It was awkward. I'd never did that before.

Our food came right after that. Misato got some kind of noodle bowl, and I got my shake and slice of pie.

Although I didn't usually talk while I ate, I didn't mind talking to Misato. Especially when she inquired about my thing I had for Rei.

"So Shinji, are you and Rei like... friends?" She asked.

"Not really, I just had a class with her one time, and I see her around the base now." I told her. I felt bad just mentioning Rei.

"You do know she's not... human, right? At least not entirely?"

"Yeah." I answered. I knew Rei was just an experiment. For what, I had no idea. I just knew that Rei and my dad were pretty good friends. I guess since he helped engineer her. You heard right. Rei was created. Not born.

"Shinji, I know what it's like to have a crush. My first crush ended horribly. My second, not so bad. My third which was recent, ended pretty bad actually. I know how much it hurts and I know how long it lasts. I never really got over my third crush."

"I'm sorry." I told her. I had sympathy for her. Losing someone like that really _does_ hurt.

"And Shinji, I'm sorry for being a jerk to you. I really am. I just don't get along with people like I used to." She said, looking down at her lap.

I took a sip of my shake before saying,

"Misato, I'm a huge screw up. You're the most respected officer in NERV. There's no reason to feel bad about yourself." I cold tell she felt bad about herself.

"I just think we should be friends like you said. I really like you Shinji." She said.

I couldn't help but smile.

Regardless of what I thought, Misato and I were actually becoming close now. I could feel it.

"So have you ever told Rei you liked her?" Misato asked out of the blue.

"No, I haven't." I said.

"Well do you plan to?" She asked me.

I was surprised at how nosy she was. But hey, I went thought her stuff, so I guess I'm in no position to say something like that.

"I guess not. She probably doesn't like me anyway. And probably never will." I said. I was going to say more, but she interrupted me.

"Hey, don't say that. Things will work out Shinjil. You're smart, you're cute, and no girl can resist those glowing blue eyes you have."

Really? I was cute? And my eyes were nice? Misato's words really made me feel better. They really did. I don't know how she did it, but her words made me feel like the most special person in the whole world.

Wait. Oh no. _That feeling_. I've had it before. As I looked into Misato's eyes, I felt that feeling in my stomach. That knot I used to get in my chest was back. I didn't want to acknowledge it. But I had to. It couldn't be. But it was.

I was falling in love with Misato.

_No! _That was wrong! That was very _very_ unbelievably _wrong_! I _couldn't_ be in love with Misato, she was too old for me! I was 17, she was 30! God I felt so guilty.

I couldn't stop looking at her. Staring at her was now the best thing in the world. Her hair, her eyes, her cute little nose and chin... everything about her was so beautiful. I hadn't noticed before, but now I was opening my eyes to how gorgeous Misato Katsuragi was.

* * *

After I finished my pie, I washed it down with what was left of my milkshake. It was all delicious.

The waitress brought the check which Misato quickly paid. She also left a good tip.

After smiling at me, Misato got up, so I did the same, and we left.

Now this... is where things get ugly. I just want to warn you.

As Misato searched her pocket for her keys, I noticed a couple of younger looking guys wearing hoodies leaning up against the wall of the closed pharmacy. Both were tall and kind of muscular. I didn't think much of them, but I got a knot in my stomach when they both started to walk towards us.

I was going to tell Misato because she didn't seem to notice. But I was interrupted.

"_Hey_!" One of the guys said as they stopped in front of us. Misato immediately turned around to see who had said that.

"Come here sweetheart, you got a fine ass." The guy on the left said. I could barley see his face. But he had a bit of a stubble going on and he was missing a tooth.

"_Fuck off_ _pervert_." Misato retorted. Why did she have to be a jerk now? It wasn't going to help the situation.

Then, the guy who had spoke pulled out a knife. I easily spotted the reflection of the silver blade.

By now, I was sweating and my heart sped up. I wondered if anybody would see this, and call the police or something. But the whole place was dead, and Misato and I were the only ones in the parking lot.

"I think you better come here _bitch_." The guy said, but more threatening this time.

Then, the guy on the right came towards me. I backed up a bit but ran into Misato's car. He grabbed me by my collar and pushed me up against the side of the car. My heart was pounding as hard as I'd ever felt it pound. I couldn't see the guy's face because of the darkness and the hood he had on. But that was okay. I didn't want to.

The other guy approached Misato and pointed the knife at her. My heart felt like it was gonna explode now.

"If you don't come here right now bitch, I'll personally slit that kid's throat." He said, pointing over to me.

I felt tears coming from my eyes now. My whole body was rushing with adrenaline, but it was no use. I couldn't get away from the grip of the hoodlum who was holding me, even if I tired.

The guy with the knife gave Misato an evil grin. But Misato didn't look very intimidated. In fact, she looked like she was about ready to snap. And she did.

Misato gave the thug the death glare she had given to me. But this one was _way_ worse, and looked more personal.

"_Listen_ up asshole, because I'm gonna say this once, _and only_ once. You tell you friend to let that kid go right now, and you turn around and walk away, or so help me _God _I will break every bone in your face that you'll be eating through a straw for the rest of the year."

I didn't quite understand what she meant by "eating through a straw", but I had no time to think about that. Things were about to get ugly.

"Wrong answer bitch!" The guy yelled, then he lunged at Misato, and tried to cut her throat. My blood ran cold, and I broke out into a sweat as I anticipated what horrors were to come. But what happened next was not what I expected.

The hoodlum never touched Misato with that blade. In fact he, never stood a chance against her at all now that I think about it. Misato grabbed his wrist, and broke it. I mean _literally_ broke his wrist. She forced his hand back and twisted it downwards (the way it's not supposed to bend) and I heard a snap, accompanied by the screams of the hoodlum who had just got his wrist broken.

He grabbed his wrist with his other hand and screamed out in pain as Misato took the knife from his now disabled hand. The hoodlum holding me up against the car let go of my collar quickly, and punched me in the face as hard as he could. I guess he wanted to make sure I couldn't be an obstacle to him.

I fell down against the car, and my eye started to swell. But I could still see what was going on.

He then turned and faced Misato. The other hoodlum was on his knees now, still screaming in pain. Then suddenly, Misato kicked him in the face with her boot. He instantly hit the ground, and his screams of pain stopped. I guess she wanted to shut him up.

The other hoodlum put his fists up, like he was ready to fight. But Misato stood there calmly. The hoodlum rushed at her and took a swing at her head, but she skillfully dodged the punch, and tripped the thug, sending him face-first into the ground.

He started to bleed from his forehead. A lot.

Misato then walked over to the hoodlum as he tried to roll over onto his back to get up, but she didn't let him. Misato forcefully brought her boot down right onto his blood covered throat, preventing him from getting back on his feet.

His eyes grew wide with fear as he grabbed Misato's boot and hopelessly tried to get it off of him. But it was no use. Misato increased the pressure on his throat with her boot. He made a whimpy grunting sound as Misato stared down at him with an evil smile.

But I stared at her in awe. She looked like a superhero to me after everything she had just done.

Then, Misato took her foot off the thug's throat.

"_Run_." She said coldly to him.

I didn't think he'd do it. I thought he'd try to fight again, but I was wrong.

The hoodlum didn't waste any time. He stood up and ran with his hands covering his head, yelling in terror as he did so. He tripped and ran all the way across the lot and stumbled into an alleyway, not looking back.

I was speechless. I couldn't believe what I had just witnessed.

Did Misato seriously just make that guy run away like a little girl? I was absolutely speechless.

As I sat there, the shock started to set in, and I couldn't think straight.

Misato turned and looked at me. Before I knew it, she was at my side, helping me up.

"_Shinji_, your eye!" She said, as she pulled me to my feet.

I touched my eye, and it was a little swollen. I saw my reflection in the window of her car, and my whole left eye was black. It didn't look good.

Misato helped me over to the passenger side and got me buckled in. She then came around and got behind the wheel. She wasted no time starting the engine and throwing it in reverse. Misato sped off, leaving those two hoodlums behind. But I didn't care. They deserved it.

"You... almost killed that guy didn't you?" I blurted out. I didnt think anyone could survive being kicked in the head that hard.

She seemed to know what I was talking about.

"He'll be just fine. Maybe he won't be able to eat solid food for a while because of his broken jaw, but he'll be just fine." She answered.

"And you know this... how?" I asked.

She looked at me,

"Because I went to med school." She answered.

I looked at her, and she looked back, giving me a little smirk.

As we drove down the small highway leading into the wooded area, Misato kept swearing under her breath, and saying she was so stupid.

Misato looked at me, turning my face to see my black eye.

"God, Shinji, your eye." She said. "It's all my fault..."

I disagreed. Even though I had been an unwilling witness to a fight, and had gotten a black eye, I didn't see it as being her fault.

Although my eye throbbed with pain, my heart slowed down, and I stopped sweating. It was a relief to be able to catch my breath again.

Not only was I shaken from what had happened, but I was taken by Misato. I was getting that feeling again.

I was in love with her by now. I admit it.

The way she took down those thugs was amazing. She was so... womanly, not really intimidating, and she didn't look like much of a fighter, yet she had incredible skills, and she was apparently very lethal.

She was smart, and she made me feel special. Nobody had ever made me feel special before.

I knew it was wrong, but I was in love with Misato Katsuragi. I probably didn't have a chance with her though. Just like with Rei.

But I knew I was in love with Misato. And realized I always had been. I just didn't know it until now.

* * *

"_Ouch_." The word just escaped my mouth when Misato put a cold wet cloth to my eye. I had insisted that I didn't need any sort of treatment for my black eye, but she refused to _not_ do anything.

"Hold this here for 5 minutes." She told me, letting go of the cloth. I pressed it against my eye which felt tender and warm.

Misato put the pack of ice back in her fridge which had nothing but beer and frozen dinners.

Then, suddenly I felt her put her hands on my shoulders. I couldn't quite see her because of the way I was facing in the chair. But she started to massage my shoulders. And I'll have to admit, it felt pretty good.

My head hung down. I just stared at my lap as she rubbed her fingers deep into the muscles in my shoulders. I couldn't help but moan just a little bit with my mouth shut.

She pulled my head back as she continued. Her magical fingers completely took away all the tension that had built up in my muscles during the day.

After what felt kind of like, I don't know... 10 minutes, Misato stopped massaging me and leaned forward to look me in the eye.

"How are you feeling Shinji?" She asked. Her voice soft, and filled with compassion.

"Fine." I answered.

"You know, that's the most common lie people tell." She said with a smirk.

I smiled at her. She was funny. But I wasn't surprised that what she said was true.

But then, I thought about Rei. Oh no. Not again. I think of Rei and I can't stop.

I thought about her, and what she might be doing. She was probably out with some guy, and they were probably in bed doing it. Oh _God_ please. Make it stop. I couldn't stand to think about it anymore. I felt like just dying again.

Then, the tears came. Not even a black eye could stop the tears from getting through. I cried. The warm tears streamed down my face. Misato saw how I was crying. Her hands came up to my face and she wiped the tears away with her thumbs.

"Shinji, what's the matter?" She asked me ever so kindly. She knew I wasn't crying from the pain of my black eye.

I hesitated. I didn't wanna talk about Rei. It would make me sick to my stomach. So I thought of something else.

"Everything Misato. Everything's the matter." I started.

"Like what Shinji?"

"Everything."

"I don't know what 'everything' is."

"Rei," slipped out of my mouth. I couldn't hide it anymore.

"Rei. I miss her so much. I have no idea what she's doing right now." I said through the sobs.

"Oh Shinji," She said.

"I just can't stop thinking about Rei. . . . . I never wanted to end up like this. . . . . I really wanted to see her and tell her how I liked her, but now she's gonna be transferring to another NERV division. I'm not sure when, but I heard her talking about it. I wanted to tell her I liked her before she left, but now I don't know if I'll ever get to see her again."

"But Shinji you don't have to worry. Rei lives around town, I'm sure you'll see her outside the base."

"No, it's not like that." I sobbed.

"It's just that I can't take not being without her, and I don't wanna live anymore if she doesn't like me."

I cried even more. The tears wouldn't stop it was beyond my control. But then, I felt her hands move to my back. And she pulled me into an embrace once more.

Right then, all the pain stopped. I closed my eyes as I breathed in the sweet scent of her hair. I buried my face into her neck as she pulled me closer.

I could feel every beat her heart made as we continued our embrace. She didn't let go. Her thin but strong arms held me tight.

All I could think of now, was how unbelievably in love I was with Misato Katsuragi.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you all for the reviews. Sorry this chapter took so long. I had already written it but there were too many errors. The next chapter will be the other half of this one but it had to be broken into two. Thanks again and please review some more!**

* * *

"Stop it. . . . . . stop. . . . . . . _stop!_" I said, trying not choke on my own words. I was laughing so hard that my stomach was getting sore.

Misato was behind me, tickling my ribs.

She didn't let up. She kept at it. It felt like all the air in my lungs had been forced out.

She was taller than I was and she used her size to her advantage. She was merciless, and kept preventing me from moving as she tickled me.

As I gasped for air, I tried to resist her attack by grabbing her wrists but she pushed me backwards onto the sofa, and continued to tickle my ribs. Her smile had grown even whider and friendlier than before.

She got onto the sofa and climbed on top of me and kept at it, straddling my legs and pushing me into the soft cushons. My hair blocked out my vision as she continued.

Even though I grabbed her arms as tight as I could, she skillfully broke my grip and kept on going.

I didn't want to admit it, but it was the most fun I've had in years. Probably my whole life.

Nonetheless, I fought as hard as I could to get her off of me. I really didn't stand much of a chance against her. I think I have coordination problems or something because I could never really do something that required coordination or hand-eye coordination.

But anyway, I couldn't take it anymore. I burst out into laughter for the first time. Misato took this as a sign that I was enjoying it, so she tickled me even more.

I thrashed and tried to push her away, but she simply was just too skilled. I grabbed at her thin arms and fingers but she easily slipped out of my grip, and the tickling stayed focussed on my ribs.

After a minute of Misato assaulting my ribs with tickles, I really couldn't take it anymore. I really couldn't. So it resorted to begging.

"_Misato_! _Please_... _stop_!"

Misato smiled at me even whider. She continued to work at my ribs a few more seconds before her hands finally stopped torturing my ribs.

It was a relief.

I tightly held myself in a fetal position so she couldn't attack my ribs again.

Misato pulled herself off of me and leaned back. She fixed her hair and sat back into the sofa. She pulled her legs into the lotus position and looked at me. It was strange to know her as a tough determined officer during her duty, yet see her being so playful and relaxed right now. Not to mention inappropriately dressed with her _extremely_ short jean shorts.

"Be careful. I might just get you again when you least expect it." She said with a smirk.

She leaned foward and messed up my hair with her hand. I shut my eyes out of instinct and grit my teeth in anticipation of another tickle attack. But it never came(at least for now).

After all the times we spent not liking each other, I was glad it had come to this. Misato and I were close. We were friends, and we cared about each other. Although I did get the impression that she cared about me more than I cared about her.

Misato sat back on the sofa and stared at me. I wondered if she was serious about planning to tickle me when I least expected it.

"So Shinji, when do you go back to school?" Misato asked me.

School? _Damn,_ I forgot.

I was starting my junior year in a few days. It was hard going to the academy _and_ school at the same time. I had to go to the NERV training academy during summer. It sucked really, but my dad forced me to go. He wanted me to get the training to pilot unit one. He said that unlike most pilots he's seen, I had "outstanding mental endurance." So he wanted me to become a pilot.

But it figures I guess. He only wanted me because I could do stuff for him. He didn't really care to be with me because he loved me. In fact, I don't think he ever did.

Anyway, I felt the nervous sensation in my stomach just thinking about school. It was very tiring. Having to go to the academy and take test after test for mental endurance and stability, only to go back to school and deal with all the bullies and hard work.

Not to mention home work. It was the worst. Like I didn't get enough torment _during_ school hours.

Having your summer vacation become an extended version of school sucked pretty bad. It wasn't like school at the academy, but it was hard. Right after my freshman year was when my dad forced me to go to the NERV training academy. I hated my dad so much for it, but I never got to see him because he was at the base 24/7. So I never really got a chance to confront him about it. Although I did like that Rei went to school with me _and_ the academy. I thought that was an interesting coincidence.

I still remember my last summer I had off. It was the summer right after eighth grade. I miss the good old days. Before I met Rei and all the other people I can't stand to live without. Back then, I didn't feel like I had an entire world to lose if I screwed up.

I felt like crying, but I held the tears back. I buried the pain like I had always done.

"Are you alright Shinji?" Misato asked, interrupting my thinking.

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine." I answered automatically.

"So do you want me to take you to school when you start?" She asked me.

That did sound nice. And it distracted me from my painful memories. I wondered if she was serious.

"Really? You'd do that for me?"

"Well of course!" She smiled and leaned forward to mess up my hair again.

I was gonna resist her, but I decided not to.

Misato made me feel better. Just knowing that I had someone there for me really helped.

Having a life like me really makes you insecure. But having _Misato_ there for me really made me feel better.

The time Misato and I were spending together was great. She would always mess around with me, and she'd always tickle me. And mess up my hair. All the hatred she had for me was gone.

She'd always take me places and buy me things. My life was pretty sweet.

But of course, it wouldn't last. I soon had to go back to school. And I missed out on all the times I could've spent with Misato. But I was sort of happy because Rei was going to be at school with me.

Sure we saw each other at the academy, but we had only one class together and we never talked.

Now, we'd both be going back to school again. Thankfully, we had no more academy to go to after this school year, but it didn't compensate for all the summers off we missed out on. Plus, she was going to be perminatley joining NERV and so was I. Only because my dad was forcing me to but Rei was doing it voluntarily. At least we would always still see each other.

Well, hopefully it would be a good year. Maybe nothing bad would happen with NERV, school or my father.

"Hey Shinji, get me a beer!" Misato demanded playfully.

I smiled at her before getting up and going to the fridge.

* * *

I didn't deserve to be loved. I never did. I never deserved anything. Not even the roof over my head. I didn't deserve the amazing people I had met. I didn't deserve Misato or any of her kindness. But I also didn't deserve my dad and all his rejection. What did I deserve then?

It was the hardest thing trying to figure that out.

All I can ever remember when I was a kid was. . . . .how hectic life was. I never had a day where I didn't cry. That's all I can recall really. All I ever did was cry, and all my dad ever did was ignore me. Either that, or he'd raise his voice at me to get me to shut up. Even when my mother was alive, not even _she_ understood me. Nobody ever did, and I _longed_ for someone to understand me.

That's the truth. I've got no reason to lie.

Hey. Where am I anyway? Oh. That's right. I'm back in my dreadful bed.

Well, things couldn't get much worse. I had to go back to school in a couple of days. I always hated the anticipation of going back to school. It always made my mind wear down just thinking about it. Especially since I forgot. I wasn't expecting to go back just yet.

I wished I was back in Germany. I remembered when my Opa (German for 'grandpa') used to take me to his cabin in the woods right outside of Berlin. We'd chop wood all day. We could chop down an entire tree in just an hour if we wanted to.

Then after that, we'd go back to our hometown and I'd do yard work for the neighbours. I always remembered the woman who lived across from us. Her name was Ms. Janssen. She was around her 20's and she lived alone. I'd always trim her hedges and the bushes around her house.

She'd always bring me lemonade afterwards when I was done. It sure was the life. I always thought she was hot by the way. I admit it. I'm the opposite of a pedophille I guess. I've always liked women who weren't my age, and it wasn't fair because I never had a chance with them because I was so young. Kind of like with Misato... but that doesn't matter. It was hard when my dad made me come to Japan to do his damned NERV crap and get me involved with all their problems.

My dad thought it was cool that he was adopted and lived in Japan and had a Japanese name and all, but I didn't want anything to do with it. Seriously. I really didn't want any part of it. Mostly because it was all foreign and it was hard to adjust. Learning Japanese was the hardest thing. And I guess I'm considered _illiterate_ since I can't really read Japanese.

Hell I don't remember much German either.

I guess that's what happens when you're away from home for too long.

Anyway, I really didn't wanna think about school which was starting soon, but I had to.

But all I could do was let time pass. I couldn't stop the clock from ticking. Just wanted to get school over with so I could... well come to think of it, I really didn't have anything I could do when I finished school.

There wasn't much I _could_ do. I don't even think I could hold down a job even if I tried. I wasn't cut out for taking on all those things.

Hell, I just wasn't cut out for life.

Nevertheless, I was here, and I had to live no matter how much I just wanted to die. I don't even know why God put me here (if there's even a God at all) if all I do is screw up. I had no purpose, and I wasn't good for anything really. So I don't see why I'm even here, or what I'm doing or what purpose I'm supposed to be serving if all I'm good at is eating and sleeping and screwing things up.

I guess that life is the way that it is. Unfair to some, kind to others. People who should burn in hell get to live like movie stars. And good people are given the hardest lives in the world.

_Were those footsteps I heard_? They were.

I sat up in my bed. It was the afternoon now, and I knew Misato had been out for a while. Not sure where though. I heard her come in the front door and make her way into the living room.

A little hesitation, but I got up and into my slippers. Then I stepped out into the living room. Misato was there, kicking her boots off and unbuttoning her uniform. She looked drunk.

"Hey Shinji..." She said, just barely able to keep her eyes open.

"Where have you been?" I asked her. I wanted to make sure she hadn't gotten hurt or anything like that, so I examined her wrists and other parts of her body that were unclothed.

"Jsst. . .had a few beers at the barrrrrr. . . . ." She looked like she was going to pass out.

"Hey. . . . ." She said before I could say anything.

"Saw Rei at the bassssse. . . . .buforrr I got back. . . . .she asked bout' you. . . . ."

My heart stopped. Rei? She saw her? And she asked about me? I had to find out more.

"What did Rei ask about me?"

"Oh, nuttinnn reeallie. . . . .she asked if you wer gonna be back at skooool. . . . .thisss yeeer. . . ."

I raised my eyebrow. Misato smiled.

"Told her you wer gunnn. . . . .beee ther. . . .n' you wer starti'n yer seeenior year. . ."

Oh my God! Rei was actually thinking about me? I really wanted to see Rei now. Maybe she _does_ like me! Who knows? Maybe we can become friends or something!

I was going to ask Misato what else Rei said, but Misto passed out. She literally just shut her eyes and started to snore. She didn't wake when I shook her. I guess I'll have to wait till tomorrow I thought to myself.

* * *

I really do wanna get to the part when I went back to school. I didn't particularly like school. I really only went because I had to. Not to learn anything. But I do want to tell about my senior year.

I still cared about Misato. In fact, I thought I loved her like I said before.

I just didn't know how things would turn out. But I'm glad they turned out the way they did.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi everyone. Sorry for the long wait. I wrote several chapters but then I lost them all. Then I got a terrible case of writer's block after that. But anyway, this chapter explains how Shinji meets Rei. Just something for you all until I can rewrite what I lost. More to come soon. Enjoy!**

* * *

The sun felt wonderful as it hit my face. I never really got much sun. I was feeling great as the warmth was absorbed into my skin along with vitamin D.

It wasn't long before I realized it. Oh crap... today was my first day of school.

Not wanting to get up, I thought I'd go back to sleep and pulled the covers over me.

I swear I didn't hear anybody come into my room. I didn't even _hear_ the door open. But somehow Asuka had gotten into my room.

"_Wake up you idiot!_"

I was startled by my friend, Asuka. She was right at my bedside and she was standing over me with her school uniform on and her book bag in her hand.

"How'd you sleep, _baka_ Shinji?"

"What does that even mean?" I groggily asked her, referring to the word 'baka'.

"_It means idiot, which is just what you are_! Now get out of bed cause we're gonna be late!" She retorted. Which hurt my ears by the way.

Oh God, here we go again.

"I haven't even showered yet Asuka..." I said groggily again.

She glared at me.

"Your mom said you took a shower pretty late last night, that's good enough!"

I stared at her, rubbing and trying to focus my eyes.

"Assuming that you weren't being a _pervert_ last night and grabbing your-"

"Alritght!" I said, interrupting her.

Well, I figured I had no choice. Scratch that. I _knew_ I had no choice.

My heart pounded as I got up and went over to my closet. Asuka stood there with her hands on her hips, following me with her eyes. I was glad I had chosen to wear my pajama pants. Otherwise Asuka would've yelled at me for being a pervert if I had gotten out of bed in my underwear.

Anyway, I got my black pants and white shirt and my dress shoes along with my watch. It was a Danish watch. I think the brand name was Skagen or something like that.

Asuka was still eyeing me as I went out of my room and into the bathroom to change.

I quickly got on my pants and shoes and my shirt, but I realized I had no belt. I only had an old ugly leather one that looked like it had been run over by a car a thousand times.

My pants would drop if I let them go, so I kept them held up as I exited the bathroom. I threw my pajamas into the closet with the laundry baskets as I went back to my room.

Asuka was sitting on my bed now with her arms crossed. She kept giving me her signature death glare. I knew I had a pair of black clip suspenders I could use instead of my belt, so I searched my closet. I could feel Asuka's gaze burning into my back.

I found them finally. They were the type that made an 'X' in the back and had four clips. Two for the front and two for the back. I proceeded to put them on.

Now I seriously didn't think my pants were that big, and I had my shirt tucked in so it held my pants up. I let go of my pants for one second to put the suspenders on, and they dropped to my ankles instantly.

The last thing I remember after that was Asuka's enraged face as she slapped me as hard as she could. It stung pretty bad.

It wasn't fair because I didn't intentionally drop my pants but...

After getting yelled at for being a pervert, Asuka left my room and I was able to get my suspenders on. I remembered to tie my shoes before walking out of my room.

I stepped out only to have Asuka grab me by the ear and pull me out the front door before I could say bye to my parents. But they weren't even there I seem to recall. I guess it didn't matter. They probably wouldnt've acknowledged me anyway.

Asuka and I rushed down the stairs and out the door of the apartment complex my family and I lived in.

It was quiet out except for the cicadas making their usual racket. It was pretty hot though.

I had no idea where the school was. Even though I had gone there before, my parents picked me up and dropped me off, but I didn't know how to get there on foot. And I didn't expect them to make me walk to school this year. So I just blindly followed Asuka. She knew the way. Her parents made her walk all the time.

The yellow grass scorched by the sun in a lot to my left made me feel even hotter as we ran down the sidewalk.

"_Hurry! We're going to be late Shinji! Pick it up_!" Asuka yelled back to me.

I knew my watch was wrong, so I trusted that she knew the time.

It was eerily quiet outside for some reason.

Anyway, I struggled to keep up. I wanted to run faster and perhaps even pass Asuka so I could get to school on time. Though I thought it was still a long way away, so I asked Asuka how far it was.

"How much longer Asuka?" I asked her while my feet carried me as fast as they could.

"Just around the corner and down the street on the left!" She answered.

Really? That didn't seem so hard to remember. I sped up and passed Asuka. She yelled something to me but I didn't hear. It was probably something about me being an idiot or a show off for passing her.

As I was about to turn the corner around a building, I looked to my left so I could see if the school was really there on that block.

But as soon as I turned the corner, I smacked right into someone. Quite literally, though I didn't realize I had smacked into a _person_ at that second.

Our heads collided from the feel of it. I felt something soft yet crunchy hit my face at the same time our heads hit.

I fell back onto my side pretty hard. My headache was resurrected at that moment, and my vision was now focused on the blurry building across the street.

The last thing I remember seeing before falling back on my side was blue hair. Like a girl's hair. And pale-white skin.

Great. I realized I had run into a girl.

I also remember seeing the look of terror on the face of the girl. But what was that thing she had in her mouth? I had felt it crunch between our faces as they hit.

Wait, was my face wet? I felt something wet on my right cheekbone. As I laid on the pavement, I used my finger to take a sample of the wet substance on my face.

I looked at my finger with whatever it was on it. It looked yellow. Against my own judgment, I stuck my finger into my mouth.

_Hmmm, was that butter I tasted? It tasted just like butter! But why?!_

I struggled a little bit, but I slowly got up onto my knees to see who I had run into, and what I saw literally knocked the wind out of me more than the blow to my head had.

There, sat a little blue haired girl about my age. She was sitting up, and rubbing her head. And what was that in her mouth? _Was that toast_?

She had a piece of toast in her mouth... it may have been inappropriate given the circumstances, but I thought she was absolutely adorable as she sat back in a daze.

Then, her eyes met mine. They were... red.

She had the most adorable face and pale skin. And those eyes? Was she an albino? It didn't matter, I was in love.

The girl got up and straightened her skirt, probably to make sure I couldn't see what was beneath it.

She then looked at me as if she was worried, turned, and started to run. I wanted to tell her to wait. I wanted to make sure she was okay and apologize.

But she was too fast.

"Sorry!" I heard her call back to me as she ran with the toast still in her mouth.

I never really forgot that day. That was the day I met Rei.


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you all for the steady stream of reviews. I was able to pick up the story again after losing all my work. Hope this chapter is good. Next one is already written. It just needs some proofreading. More to come very soon. Enjoy!**

* * *

I woke up around midnight or a little after I think it was.

Some dream. I had dreamt of the first meeting between Rei and I. But it was over...

I was in my bed now, and I kept hearing what sounded like . . . . . . .water being poured onto the carpet in Misato's room.

I didn't think that's what was happening though. There wasn't any reason as to why she would be pouring water onto the floor, much less at this hour.

My senses were heightened as I sat up in my bed. They usually do that when I get scared or wake up out of a dead sleep.

I could hear everything in the entire apartment. It stopped for a moment, but the sound of water being poured onto the floor started up again. This time, it sounded closer. Like right outside my door.

My senses heightened even more as my body became curious as to what the sound was. I wondered if Misato was up doing something. If she wasn't, then I had no idea what could be making that sound, and it would be something to worry about.

My skin felt clammy as I clutched the blankets against myself. Not that it'd keep me safe if something tried to hurt me, but I had always felt safe under a blanket.

The sound of footsteps suddenly emerged and made their way into the kitchen from the sound of it.

I didn't really feel scared, but then again I did. I didn't want to sit in bed and do nothing. I thought the sound was worth investigating.

Although I wasn't in _bad_ shape, I struggled to get out of the tangle of sheets I was in. I also struggled to balance as my feet touched the floor. I was glad I still had my socks on.

Balancing was pretty hard as I mentioned. It took all my strength to stand upright.

By now I was out of breath. I just wanted to get back in bed, but I didn't. I started towards the door.

I opened the door and I saw what looked like a trail of...vomit. Or at least it looked like it. I couldn't smell due to my stuffy nose.

Anyway, I followed it. It led all the way to the bathroom where the light was on. I slowly followed it into the bathroom, careful not to step in it. I guessed Misato must've been sick. I could see her already.

Looking into the bathroom (as the light stung my eyes), I saw her, kneeling down over the toilet. It looked like she had been throwing up quite a bit. She also looked pretty unaware of her surroundings.

Immediately I felt sorry for her. I usually do when someone's not feeling very well. Physically or emotionally. Especially emotionally.

I didn't know what to do. She looked over at me and blushed a little bit when she saw me. I guess she was embarrassed.

"Shinji... I..." Her eyes widened, and her head snapped back to the toilet where she threw up again.

She didn't look like she wanted any attention. And I knew she didn't. She only had a baggy t shirt on, and her hair was a mess. Plus she was probably embarrassed to be seen like this, but I didn't care. I wanted to help her if I could.

"Misato." I quietly said.

She looked over at me and frowned like she was upset I was there.

"I just had too much to drink... I think..."

"You think?" I said with a chuckle. I felt sorry for her, but I couldn't help it.

Her eyes narrowed and she growled at me.

She grabbed the side of the sink like she was gonna get up and lung at me, but she quickly let go and stuck her head in the toilet again and threw up some more.

I was gonna make a joke about her drunnkeness, but Misato suddenly fell backwards and onto the floor. She just... passed out.

By now I was panicking. She was making some faint gurgling noise from her mouth. I quickly went over and knelt next to her.

"Misato...?"

No response.

Great.

I tried to pick her up out of instinct. She was pretty light.

Since she didn't respond to anything when I tried to get her to wake up. I didn't know what else to do but take her back to her bed.

I tried to pick her up. It took a lot, but I was able to pick her up bridal-style. I then carried her to her room.

Don't get the wrong idea. I was getting an adrenaline rush from all this. I'd never carried anyone like this before. Much less someone as attractive as Misato.

After getting her into her bed, I wondered if I should get her some help. She looked like she'd be fine. She just had too much beer I thought. Her breathing returned to normal after that.

Just then, the phone on her desk next to the door rang.

I quickly made my way over to it. I didn't know who it was, and it was too dark to read the caller ID, but I didn't care. I wanted to talk to _somebody_. Hell, I'd take my father.

I picked up the phone.

"Hello?" I said after hesitating.

It took a second to get a response. The voice that answered sounded like a younger guy. Like maybe in his early 30's. I couldn't tell. But he sounded... strange. I don't quite know how to put it. It sounded like... I don't know. I just got a feeling...

"Well hello young man," The man's voice started,

"I was wondering if I could speak with Misato. Is she there by any chance?" He calmly and politely asked.

I hesitated again, but answered,

"Umm, no. She's not... _she's here_ but she can't talk."

"Oh? And why is that?" He asked, with curiosity in his voice.

"Ummm, she's... asleep." I answered.

"She is? Well that's a pity, I needed to make plans with her."

"Uuh, I could take a message if you'd like?" I offered.

"Oh, _that's_ alright. I'll call again when she's awake. But I must ask, who might _you_ be?"

"_Shinji_." I forced out. I didn't know why I had to force it out. I just didn't feel comfortable for some reason.

"Aah, _Shinji Ikari_, the son _Gendo_ _Ikari_, the commander of the NERV headquarters here in Tokyo 3."

"Yeah, that's me."

"Well, Misato's told me all about you. And I must say, from what I hear, you seem like a respectable _young man_."

"Really? Thanks." I automatically responded.

I was getting uncomfortable.

"But may I ask why you're in her room?" He asked.

Huh? How'd he know that? A lucky guess? I asked him.

"Wait, how do you know I'm in her room?" I'm sure I sounded paranoid.

"The only phone she has in her apartment is the one in her room." He answered.

"Oh," I responded. I felt sorta dumb. Mostly because I hadn't noticed.

I was gonna ask who _he_ was and how he knew that, but he spoke again,

"Say... if Misato's _asleep_, then why are you in her room? Wouldn't it be inappropriate to be in someone's room while they slept?" His tone changed ever so slightly, but it kept its calm touch. Almost like he was joking.

I knew what this guy was playing at. I thought of a good comeback.

"Umm, she's in the living room on the couch. She didn't wanna sleep in her bed." I smiled at my clever response.

"Are you sure about that?" He asked calmly. He sounded Almost like he was trying to be...sensual. Is that the right word? I couldn't be sure _what_ he was up to.

"Um, yeah I'm pretty sure." I said.

"Because you know, Misato _hates_ that couch. She never sleeps on it because it gives her backaches." He said jokingly.

Oops, I couldn't believe it. He caught me in a lie. Normally I'd be mad, but I wasn't. I know he was saying it in a joking manner, but still...

"Alright _fine_, she's in her bed. _What's the difference_?" I asked him.

He chuckled a bit before saying,

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about if you two were spending the night together."

I felt my pupils constrict.

_**Spending the night together?!**_

"N...no...what? Why would you think something like that?" I said in a panic. My voice all shaky.

"Hey," He said, his voice getting lower.

"I'm kidding. But _seriously_, just tell me, why exactly are you in her room while she's asleep? Did she not wanna get out of bed to answer the phone?"

"She _can't_ answer the phone." I stated.

"And why's that?" He asked, sounding like he wanted to chuckle again.

"She passed out. She's drunk." I retorted.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I had no idea." He said with concern lingering in his voice, although I had a feeling it was illegitimate.

"She'll be okay. Just make sure she sleeps it off. She gets drunk a lot."

"Yeah, no kidding."

"Misato's told me all about you Shinji. It must be nice to be able to live with her everyday."

"It's okay. She didn't like me very much at first, but we've started to get along." I explained.

"Good to know." He answered.

By now I was suspicious. He sounded like one of those people who like to play mind games. _And_ he sounded like he was... English or something. Like he had a slight English accent. I couldn't tell.

"In any case, my apologies for bothering you, I just needed to tell a few things to Misato but it can wait. Nice talking to you Shinji. Hopefully we can meet sometime. Misato is a good fiend of mine."

"Is that right?"

"_Certainly_. You sound like such a fine young man."

"Thank you." I said uneasily. I was getting a bad feeling. Why was he calling me fine?

"Don't mention it Shinji." He said.

Mind you that at the time, I had no idea what this guy was talking about.

"So, Shinji, do tell me... what are you wearing?"

What was I wearing? That seemed like a rather odd question. But I really didn't think much of it. I don't think I'd ever been asked what I was wearing before... but I suppose there's a first time for everything (not really, but you know what I mean).

"Um, just my robe and flannel pajama pants." I said.

"Ooh, _really_. What else?"

"Umm, just that and my bunny slippers."

It took a few seconds for him to respond. I was gonna ask him _why_ he wanted to know all that, but again, he spoke before I could.

"Well Shinji when I said you sounded like a fine young man, I most certainly meant it. I also think you must be even better looking in your pajamas."

Well by now you could probably guess what this guy is doing. And you're probably thinking or screaming at me to hang up and tell Misato. But that's not what I did. At least not yet.

But don't get me wrong, I'm not a complete idiot. I catch on to stuff people try to do, like if they're trying to take advantage of me. I caught on pretty quickly with this guy.

And I realized it when he told me I must've been even better looking in my pajamas...

"Why do you keep calling me fine?" I asked him, not knowing what else to say.

He paused for a moment, then spoke.

"I just think you sound like such an exceptional young man."

"I'm not a man. I'm 17." I countered.

I heard him softly _exhale_ after I said that... for what reason, I'll never know.

"Well you certainly sound young, but not _that_ young. Tell me Shinji, are you from around here?"

"Why do you ask?" My pulse went down a bit.

"You sound... different. The way you pronounce words, it sounds like you're not from around here." He said curiously.

"You're right, I'm not." I answered.

"Oh? Then where are you from?" He asked in his kind voice.

"Germany."

"Ah, so you're German?" He said like he was pleased.

"Yeah..." I said dryly.

"Hmm, but your name isn't German, and I didn't know Gendo was German, he's your real father?"

"Yeah, he and my mom are both German, they met while they were serving in NERV and then they got married. Then I was born but my parents had me sent to live with my grandfather in Germany shortly after." I told him.

"My grandfather raised me basically."

"Oh."

"Yeah my dad was already into the Japanese and all, and his adoptive parents raised him here and that's why he has a Japanese last name, and why he gave me a Japanese name."

"Oh, so your parents were adopted?" He asked.

"Just my dad. He from the US, but originally from Germany. His German parents gave him up for adoption when they came to Japan to serve in NERV."

"Ah, I see. Sounds confusing." He added.

"I know, it is. Sorry."

By now I had forgotten about all his creepy questions and all. I never usually just give my life's story to someone like that, but it felt good to tell someone.

"No need to be sorry Shinji. _Life's_ confusing."

"_Yeah, I know._"

I don't know how we got from talking about where Misato slept, to my life and my family heritage. I didn't even know this guy's _name_. But I guess it didn't matter now cause I already told him.

"So tell me again Shinji, you're in your pajamas?" He asked.

"Um, yes."

"And you're German. I like that." His voice was getting... creepier is the best way I can describe it.

"Okay..?" I answered.

"It's not often we get very many different people around here. Especially after the third impact happened. There was this one time a young American boy came here to Tokyo 3. I missed him after he left. He and I were great friends."

I didn't know what to say to that.

"Tell me Shinji, what color are your eyes?"

"Blue." I said.

I could hear his breathing become damp...

"And you hair?"

"It's kind of ash brown."

I think I knew what this guy was doing.

"You sound very much like the American boy I was friends with. He had gorgeous icy blue eyes, like yourself. And delectable red hair... "

Oh God, I saw this coming.

"Tell me Shinji, do you have a girlfriend?"

I was _worried_ now. This guy was obviously a pervert. I looked back at Misato who was in her bed where I had left her. She was snoring a little bit. I wanted to wake her, but I knew that probably wasn't a good idea.

I looked back at the desk where I was staring at since the phone conversation begun.

"No, is that relevant...?" I answered. I really wanted the conversation to be over.

"Tell me another thing Shinji, are you a virgin?" He said in almost a whisper.

Alright, that was it. My heart was pounding and I was breaking out into a sweat again. This guy was a _gay_ _pedophile_. And as if _Misato_ wasn't bad enough. At least she was straight if she was.

"Look, I gotta go, I'm... there's something I need to do." I told him.

"What's the matter Shinji? Getting cold feet so soon?" He asked sarcastically.

"No, I just really need to go. I'll tell Misato you called."

"Wait Shinji, tell me, how big is your-"

Aaah!

'_Click_'

I hung up the phone. I knew what he was fixing to say. And I didn't wanna hear it. I'm not keen on those kinds of things. They disgust me. Especially when the person talking about them means it.

God, I was shaking. That guy was definitley a pervert.

He certainly wasn't pleasant to talk to and _definitley_ wasn't someone I'd wanna meet in person.

Oh God, could things get any worse than this?

I couldn't help but feel like that man was going to be a problem. I didn't know it at the time, but that wouldn't be the last time we spoke. And it certainly wouldn't be a situation that had a good ending.

By now Misato was pretty much set for the night. I'm sure she'd wake if I tried to shake her or something, but I didn't wanna do that. She was fast asleep.

Either that or she was dead because her snoring stopped. I hoped the former rather than latter.

I knew she'd be okay. I just think irrationally sometimes.

Eventually I just went back to bed. I wanted to forget this had ever happened.

* * *

_Knock knock_.

Huh?

_Knock knock knock. _

Oh, Misato was knocking on my door. It opened right after that.

"_Shinji_?" Misato whispered as she made her way into my room. It reminded me of that night when... wait I'm not gonna go there.

I slowly sat up.

Just then I realized she was in her red service uniform. I wondered if she was going somewhere. The digital clock read 6:00 am.

Misato came further into my room and started to get on my bed. _Like literally_ _get_ _on_ _my_ _bed_. She crawled on her hands and knees, closer to me.

I was terrified. I knew she wasn't going to _hurt_ me, but I was still terrified.

She reached forward and messed up my hair, all while laughing as she did so.

"Shinji I have to go down to the base for a physical exam. I'll be gone for an hour or so." She said as she leaned in to... wait, _why was she leaning towards my face?!_

Right at that moment Misato kissed me in the corner of my left eye.

My heart stopped. _Did that really just happen._

_That... was the first time I'd ever been kissed. By anyone..._

I gawked at her for a moment, but I don't think she could see me that well in the poorly lit room.

"Uh," I couldn't speak. My voice was shaky. I felt all warm and fuzzy on the inside.

"Thanks for taking me back to my bed last night. I'm used to waking up on the bathroom floor in the morning after I puke like that. But not this time. Thanks Shinji." She said as she sat back on my bed to my right(_Well, her bed technically)._

"No problem." I answered.

I steadied myself as I sat there with Misao. I got another adrenaline rush.

I just couldn't believe I had been kissed, and now the most beautiful woman in the world was sitting next to me on my bed.

Misato smiled at me again. Her pearly white teeth caught my attention first. Then her beautiful eyes.

"See something you like?" She asked, interrupting my train of thought.

I looked at her, then she moved closer to me. Her breasts were literally popping out of her jacket.

I thought I was gonna faint.

She looked at me and put her arm around me. I couldn't stop staring at her cleavage. It was just... I don't know, too much to pass up.

Misato tilted her head,

"Shinji,"

I looked up at her face.

"I'm up here, not down there." She said with a slight chuckle.

Just then I realized I had been staring at her breasts without even knowing.

"_I'm so sorry_." I quickly said as my eyes widened and my fingers griped the blankets.

She chuckled and moved in and hugged me.

_Well that was a relief. _

It was a great feeling. Someone so beautiful and intelligent, skillful and dangerous as her was hugging me.

Yeah, she was dangerous. I knew that first hand.

Uh oh, what was that feeling?

Oh no, I was getting an erection.

_No_!

That sort of thing always happened to me.

I tried as hard as I could to keep it hidden.

Misato messed up my hair again, thus making the erection go away. Thank _God_.

I was still embarrassed that I had been caught staring at her breasts. But she seemed to not be upset over it. Which was good.

Then out of the blue I asked,

"Aren't you supposed to have your gun with you since you're like, you know-" She cut me off.

"Since I'm an officer? Yes." She said, showing me her gun in its holster on the harness under her jacket.

The same gun I had touched before, but I dare not let her know about that.

I have a habit of asking random questions. Misato's gun was one of them.

That was good. I knew she was a complete bad-ass, but having her gun with her made me feel better.

_Suddenly_, I recalled the conversation on the phone with that man who had the soft voice.

_Oh God_. Why couldn't I have just forgotten all of that?

"Misato," I was able to say. I had to tell her about that phone call.

She smiled and leaned closer to me.

"Uh... I uhh... I need to tell you something."

She knitted her brows together and frowned.

"Yes Shinji?" She sounded like she was ready for bad news. I guess because of the way I said it. It wasn't _that_ bad. But it wasn't good either.

"Uh, the phone rang last night after I put you in bed. It was some guy who said he wanted to make plans with you. He said he was a good friend of yours."

"Oh? Who was it exactly?"

"Uuh, I don't know, he didn't say. But Misato, he sorta... said some things."

"What things?" She asked.

"Uuh, l.. like, he asked if I was a virgin and things like that. He asked what I was wearing... and some other stuff I don't wanna say." I couldn't put a sentence together.

"He what?" Misato asked. She sounded sorta angry.

"Yeah he said you and him were good friends. But then he asked me all sorts of strange stuff."

"Did he talk in a low soft tone the whole time?" Misato asked.

Yes, he did. I guess she _did_ know him.

"Uh, yeah he did."

"That sounds like my friend Kaji."

"Kaji?" I asked.

"Yeah, Kaji, he's one of my old friends. We go out occasionally."

"But what about all the... creepy things he asked me...?" I asked Misato. I'm sure I had timidness in my voice.

"Aw, don't worry about it. He's just messing with you. Kaji does stuff like that." Misato said with her signature chuckle.

"Misato are you sure?" I asked her again just to be sure.

"Yes, he's an idiot like that. Don't worry Shinji."

Well, Misato's voice was all the assurance I needed. I was no longer worried about this Kaji guy. At least for the time being.

But little did I know that Kaji would be something to worry about.

Anyway, Misato messed up my hair yet again before getting up and walking out the door. But not before doing that thing with her fingers where she pretended to shoot me with her fingers that she made into the shape of a gun. All while smiling at me and sticking her tongue out at me.

Even though it was pretty awkward, I liked it. I just wasn't prepared for what would be really awkward later that day.

Although my life with Misato was good, I really wanted to do more things with her. We didn't go out much because I was sick. But anyway, I was pretty happy.

She went from arrogant jerk to the loving person she was now. She was the closest thing I had to a stable family.

I was pretty happy. Except for what happened later that day.


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you for the reviews everybody, but I can't think of anything more to write. And I can't seem to picture how this story should continue. **

**I know it may be a disappointment to some of my followers because some people have messaged me saying this was the best evangelion fanfiction they ever read. **

**But I do plan to continue writing. I hope to start a new story and start at the beginning. I'm not sure if this'll be the last chapter for this story but that's how I'm feeling right now. I think if I start over, it would probably be much better, with less mistakes and a better plot but with the same general characters and first person point of view.**

**I just feel like the characters aren't put together correctly and the way I made Misato was pretty odd. **

**Any suggestions as to if I should continue or not would be appreciated. **

**But I do plan to write a new story and replace this one. **

**Thanks again everybody. **

* * *

The day went by slowly. Misato was at the base for a while.

As usual, I lazed around in my pajamas. I always liked wearing my bunny slippers. They helped my feet not get so worn out.

Plus they were one of the few things my mom had gotten me before she died.

Anyway, I tried to make myself some of the frozen dinners Misato said I could have. Her fridge was literally just beer. Beer and whiskey. And some bottles of wine in the back.

The reset of the food she had besides the frozen dinners were countless bags of Lay's, Doritos and Cheetos.

Now I had several problems trying to cook one of the frozen dinners.

I couldn't read any of the heating instructions (_which were in Japanese_), and I also couldn't remember which buttons on the microwave to push. You had to push the 'cook' button, then enter the time on the number pad, but I couldn't do that. I was never able to get it to work.

I think I changed the time twice while I blindly pressed each button hoping it was the 'cook' button.

Anyway, I ended up having to settle for a bag of Lay's and a glass of ice water. I like potato chips. They're one of my favorite snacks. Especially Lay's.

Misato and I had been planning on going back to the base soon. Her vacation was almost over and my father might want me back soon she had said.

All in all I just wanted to do something. Misato was 30, a slob and a drunk. But she was my best friend.

After finishing my chips, I heard the phone ring. I didn't know if Misato was okay with me going into her room or not, but it could've been her calling for all I knew.

I made my way to her room and picked up the phone. I was afraid it was that guy again, but I didn't care. I'd just hang up again if it was.

"Hello?" I said automatically as I answered.

"Hey Shinji, it's me." A voice responded. I immediately recognized it as Misato's.

"I passed my physical and I'm heading back. Are you alright?"

"Yeah? Why wouldn't I be?" I asked. I sorta giggled a little bit.

"Never know." She answered.

I grinned. I don't know why. I just did. She was funny.

"Okay Shinji, I'll be back real soon."

"Alright."

"One more thing, I've got a surprise for you." She said.

"Oh?" Slipped out of my mouth.

"Yeah, I'd tell you but then it wouldn't be a surprise now, would it?"

"Uh..."

"Alright, see you soon!"

She hung up before I could say bye back.

* * *

It wasn't long before I heard a knock on the door. I wondered why Misato didn't use her keys. That is, if it was Misato at all.

I was struggling with the microwave, trying to set the time back to the _real_ time. Not the time I changed it to while trying to get the microwave to work.

Carefully, I stepped off the chair I was on which I needed to reach the microwave. (_Yeah, I'm short_)

I went over to the door and grabbed the cold handle and turned it at the same time I unlocked the dead bolt.

I knew it wasn't safe to open the door without knowing who it was, _but I knew_ who it was. I'm psychic.

When I opened the door, there stood Misato with two McDonald's bags and two drinks in her arms.

My mouth started to water. Had she gotten us lunch? It _was_ just past noon.

Now believe me, I know fast food's bad, but I love it.

"Misato." I said.

"Shinji." She answered with a smile.

"I knew you'd be hungry, so I got you some lunch." She said.

"Thank you Misato."

I'm sure I sounded like a little kid, thanking her like that, but hey, I couldn't help it.

But wait. Who was that behind her? I caught a glimpse of blonde hair, but I didn't know who's it was.

Misato stepped aside and revealed the stranger.

It wasn't hard to recognize who it was. I knew that blonde hair and those rose red lips anywhere.

"Ritsuko!"

There stood Ritsuko Akagi, the lead scientist of NERV. She and I had become friends since my dad made me come to Japan. She had been the nicest person I'd met at NERV since they started making me do that synchronization testing.

I never really spent much time with her, and we grew sorta distant as my work with NERV continued. But I still remembered her as the only one who felt for me when I started.

I stood there in awe as I stared at the tall blonde who was still wearing her lab coat with a black turtleneck sweater underneath.

Her pure white teeth sparkled like her silver earrings did. Her bright radiant brown eyes met mine and her lips stretched into her signature grin.

"I see you remember me." She said in her arrogant voice with a hint of dry humor.

"_Of course_ I do!" I shrieked.

Misato smiled.

I must've blushed because my cheeks felt funny. I was just so glad to see her.

Misato came in the door and set the food down on the table.

Ritsuko followed.

But not before I gave her a hug.

I stepped in and put my arms around her thin figure. She immediately hugged back, pulling me tightly against her body.

Her perfume was very pleasant. She smelled like sweet vanilla mixed with a hint of honeysuckle.

Not to mention the crisp lenin scent of her dry-cleaned lab coat which blended with it.

Ritsuko chuckled ever so slightly,

"Is Misato not enough for you?" She asked me.

I was sure I blushed again.

But I knew what she was talking about.

She smirked at me, then she joined Misato at the table.

I did the same.

Misato broke out all the fried greasy goodness from the paper bags with the familiar McDonald's logo on them.

It was surprising they had all this stuff in Japan.

"Here ya go Shinji." Misato said, setting two fries in front of me. She also got me a cheeseburger with bacon, and some root beer. My favorite.

I immediately started stuffing my face with the hot crispy fires. It burned my mouth and tongue a little, but I didn't mind. I cooled it down with my root beer Misato had gotten me.

After swallowing the delicious fires I had shoved into my mouth, I looked to Ritsuko.

She looked the same as she always had. Her blonde hair curled at the tips, and her bangs were cut clean across.

She had a salad in front of her. She wasn't much of a healthy eater from what I had seen from her, but I guess she decided to pass up the deep fried goodness.

Misato of course, had gotten herself a beer from the fridge.

"Shinji, your dad and I talked while I was there getting my exam," Misato said, sitting down across from me.

"I told him how you've been doing, and he said he wanted to see you."

"Today?" I asked curiously.

"Yes." She answered. I didn't expect her to say that. I thought she'd say in a week or a few days or something like that.

We were silent for a few seconds as we all unwrapped our food.

"So Shinji," Ritsuko started,

"Did you hear about Rei?"

Rei?... _Rei?_? What did she mean by that?

My heart rate sped up. I didn't trust my voice, but I spoke anyway.

"What about her?" I asked. Thankfully my voice wasn't shaky.

Ritsuko took the first bite of her salad before speaking,

"She was recently in an accident during training, but she just recovered and is back at NERV."

Accident? Normally I'd be freaking out but this time I was okay because she had made a recovery and wasn't hurt anymore apparently.

"Uh, I never heard." I answered.

Ritsuko shrugged and continued to munch on her salad.

I sat there thinking of Rei for a minute or two before going back to eating my food.

Misato seemed pretty laid back. She took out a cigarette and began smoking. I didn't mind though. And I guess neither did Ritsuko because she smoked as well.

On the other hand, I kept eating my food.

Ritsuko looked at me and smiled,

"So how's life here with Misato been?" She asked as she stabbed a crouton with her fork.

I looked over to Misato who was enjoying her cigarette and some fries. She was staring off into space as she sat back in her chair.

I looked back at Ritsuko. But before I could answer her question, she said,

"She hasn't _done_ anything to you has she?" With a smirk.

I guess you could say I was dumbfounded. Stumped if you will.

I didn't know what she meant exactly, and if she meant what I _thought_ she meant... the implications were pretty inappropriate.

As soon as she said that, Misato shot Ritsuko a glare. I didn't know what _kind_ of glare, but it was a glare alright.

Ritsiko smirked again. This time, at Miksato.

"What exactly do you mean?" I asked Ritsuko.

"Oh I was just wondering how things've been going between you two..." She looked over at Misato again,

"Just wondering if the lieutenant here ever got around to putting the _moves _on a kid. Like she always wanted to." She said with a slightly evil smirk on her face.

"Shut up Rits," Misato said under her breath.

Ritsuko giggled a little,

"I guess that means she _did_."

"_Shut up Ritsuko_!" Misato growled.

All this was making me uncomfortable.

Misato got up and took a ketchup bottle from the fridge.

"Your dad's been saying he wants you to come back for a while now." Ritsuko stated.

My eyes went from Ritsuko's to Misato's.

"Yeah, he wants you to do some more of the synchronization testing again." Misato added as she sat back down, ketchup bottle in hand.

"Well that's just dandy." I said softly.

"Hey, it's nothing to worry about Shinji, Misato and I'll be there." Ritsuko said.

"Yeah, I guess I'll be okay..." I responded.

I had no problem going back to _NERV_. I just didn't wanna see my _dad_ again.

I finished my burger and fries and washed them down with the ice-cold root beer Misato got me.

It wasn't long before Ritsuko made Misato mad again.

"So, did you do it?" Ritsuko asked Misato.

Misato looked up at her,

"What do you mean?" She asked

"You know, what I said to you on the phone."

"_What_?" Misato pressed, obviously not understanding what she meant.

"Putting the _moves_ on." Ritsuko answered.

Misato's demeanor changed. She looked angry.

"Rits, _shut up_." Misato growled again.

Ritsuko chuckled,

"We all know what you're into Misato. Just tell me, did you do it yet?"

"Ritsuko, shut up!" Misato snapped.

I had no idea what she was talking about.

"What do you mean?" I asked Ritsuko.

"Well don't you know?" She asked.

Misato butted in,

"Shut up _Rits_, I'm warning you."

Ritsuko chuckled again,

"Well I'm sure you know, _Misato_ is-" Misato cut her off,

"Ritsuko, I swear I'll..."

Ritsuko chuckled yet again.

Misato looked like she was gonna explode.

"What I'm trying to say Shinji, is that Misato is into-"

"_Ritsuko_!" Misato shouted.

"What? You don't think he should know what you're into?" Ritsuko innocently asked.

"_Just shut up_." Misato answered.

Ritsuko rolled her eyes and went back to eating her salad.

The next part was funny. Misato handed me a ketchup bottle and opened her mouth, then she pointed to her mouth and gestured for me to do something.

I knew what she wanted me to do. I squirted some ketchup into her mouth. She then proceeded to shove some fries in her mouth and swallow them all whole.

Ritsuko looked like she was going to barf. But I thought it was funny.

After we finished most of our food, Ritsuko turned to me, something in those big brown eyes of hers suggested she had something on her mind.

"Shinji, I need to let you know that your dad is... he wants you to go back to NERV and take part in a new form of synchronization testing." She started.

I was a little stunned at that. I'm sure I gawked at her for a moment.

Misato's voice drew my attention to her general direction,

"Yeah, Shinji..." She said, rubbing the back of her neck,

"I sort of told your dad how good you've been doing since you came to live with me, and he said he wants you back."

"_Today_?" I spat without thinking.

"Yes." She answered firmly.

Well that was great. As if I didn't have enough to deal with. I had my first day of school on the horizon and now my dad wanted me back at NERV.

Great...

I didn't know what to say to either one of them. They both knew I hated going to NERV to do testing.

Well, I did sorta like it because I saw Rei, Asuka (I'll explain our love-hate relationship later) and everybody else who seemed to like me. It was just the testing that was physically and mentally exhausting.

And Asuka was pretty harsh sometimes.

I was getting frustraited as I sat there. I wanted to get up and leave because I was so mad.

Well... maybe not mad, but I just didn't wanna go back to NERV. Mostly because of the testing like I said before.

Anyway, I was about to get up and go to my room so I could cry or something, but Ritsuko suddenly swore under her breath.

"_Shit!" _She said softly so neither Misato nor I would hear, but I heard anyway.

She looked up from her watch.

"Sorry guys, I gotta make it to a meeting. I'm already late.

"Okay!" Misato cheerfully said.

And with that, Rotsuko got up and went over to the door, making sure to grab her heels.

She was still pretty tall without them, I wondered why she even wore high heels.

"I'll see you two back at the base." She stated as she winked at me.

She came back and messed up my hair before leaving.

I couldn'it believe it. I had wanted to talk to her some more, but I guess there's nothing I could've done.

Misato continued to drink her beer.

I wondered when my dad was likely to make me go back to NERV, so I asked Misato.

"Misato..." I started,

She looked up at me.

"Have you any idea as to _when_ my dad might want be back?"

"Hmm, I think-" She was interrupted by the phone ringing in her room.

She gestured for me to wait where I was as she made her way to her room to answer the phone.

I stood there for a minutpop before she returned with the phone in her hand. It was wireless. I hadn't noticed that before.

Guess my eyesight _was_ getting worse.

"It's your dad." She mouthed. I wasn't good at reading lips, but this time I understood what she was saying.

I hesitated, but I took the phone. I didn't wanna talk to my dad but I guess I had to.

"H-hello?" I was able to force the word out of my mouth.

"_Hello Shinji." _I heard my father answer_. _I wasn't going to like this.

"So, Shinji, from what I've heard after talking with Katsuragi, you seem to be doing much better. I know you two have become good friends and you're not as depressed as you were when I first sent you off_."_

I didn't know what to say.

"Now, I want to make myself clear. There is no room for error in this buisness and I need you. So therefore, I need you to come back to NERV and I need you to understand that any more mistakes will cost you more than you can imagen."

Great, just what I needed to hear.

"I've been using Rei for some of my more... sophisticated projects." He added.

That made me feel uneasy.

"What exactly do you want from me?" I spat.

I heard him exhale in frustration.

"I need your help,"

"My help?" I asked.

"There's a problem with Rei. We were so close to making history, but now my most recent project won't be completed. She's been uncooperative."

I raised my eyebrow. Even through he couldn't see it.

"But now she's gone dark on me." My father said.

Now I was worried.

"Dark?" I asked.

"Yes, she hasn't shown up at the base for quite some time now. I want _you_ to go check on her Shinji."

"Me?"

"Yes."

Right then and there I was happy to know I was gonna be able to see Rei. I had wanted to see Rei for a while, but it was too much for me to think about right now.

"So Shinji, try stopping by her place tomorrow. And I expect to see you here at NERV today."

I _was_ going to ask why he needed me back so soon, but right then he hung up unbelievably.

Guess I was still just another pawn in my fathers big game. He just spoke to me because he needed me.

Figures.

I looked at Misato, and she smiled and dangled her car keys in front of me.

Well it was time to go back to NERV.

* * *

It was a long drive to NERV. I was tired, and my headache was getting worse.

On top of all that, I wasn't looking forward to seeing my dad again. And I had school tomorrow. That's what made me so nervous.

With my first day of school around the corner, and my dad wanting to break my mind in order to "further his research", I was probably more stressed out than normal.

Of course, I wasn't nervous going back to NERV. I knew the people there. At school I had nobody except Rei. And even though I knew her, not even _she_ really took much of an interest in me. She was always in her own world when she was at school.

But I guess that was Rei. She was always so distant and quiet.

She did however always observe social situations, whether it was me and somebody else talking, or some of the scientists going about their day, talking in a foreign scientific language that was more foreign to me than Japanese.

I, on the other hand wanted to see Ritsuko again. I wanted to know if she was alright. It was pretty insane what Misato did to her.


End file.
